Tufty Club

Things used to be so simple, a public information film starring Tufty the squirrel used to help us learn how to cross the road, an important skill presented in a memorable way. Stop, Look and Listen, three basic rules to extending your life when you are rushing over to the ice cream man before he drives off, so imagine my confusion when after all these years of understanding what a Belisha Beacon is and recognising its orange dome on a striped pole from Tuftys excellent tutorials to come across this during a brisk walk yesterday.

It's the love child of a street lamp beacon affair, you can even see the lamp looking guilty on the left. These things are huge, it's as though the designers couldn't be arsed to lower the height to match other street lamps so just stuck it on top at a rushed meeting on what would be the next must have street accessory, it's probably called something exotic too like a Bleacon or a Street Lamblecon which in some roundabout way brings me around to stumble on to today's blog theme...

A long time ago I was involved in a scheme, (actually a job rather than a scheme, a scheme sounds like a bid to take over the world) to create a new inner ring road in my home town of Mansfield. Its a long story but it involved a lot of surveying, using a porta cabin on site as my office, dealing with frozen toilets and climbing in the back of Tarmac lorries with a digital thermometer. During one memorable frozen toilet day where even the water from a boiled kettle couldn't unblock it I found myself flicking through a brochure.

It's not that I was looking for anything for the home or deciding on a mail order outfit as the brochure wasun inspiringly called 'The Best Of Street Furniture' and resembled a very posh catalogue. Can you imagine a sexy brochure selling litter bins and park benches? No neither could I but after flicking through the pages I became convinced I needed a powder coated polycarbonate bus shelter in my living room after seeing one seductively displayed outside a chip shop with several models enjoying the moulded seating included in the price.

Really, this was a whole new world, items that you pass everyday being touted as fashion accessories. Young couples tossing litter in a cast iron fake victorian litter bin, business men leaning on the latest urine proof lamp posts taking important calls on their stylish 80's brick telephones. Bollards with names like the Brunel and Churchill when really they looked like they should have been called Dominator and Destroyer due to their shapely curves. Even signs were given suggestive names like the Fingerpost and Header Boards. "I say Derek, did you order those pointing signs for the town centre?", "Certainly did Sir, I ordered a Fingerpost each and we both get a free Header with them, if we order three they will also give us a Shaft, a new retracting bollard they have designed."

Street benches were even better with names like the Recliner and The vandal proof Endurance, some even had names of towns and cities so if you went for a Westminster for example you got an ornate cast iron seat complete with lions and crests held together with oak timbers. If you chose the Mansfield you got two breeze blocks and a floorboard. Actually I was kidding with that one, you actually just got the breeze blocks to sit on.

Litter bins come with big beefy names to suggest they can digest litter at phenomenal rates, why buy a cast iron space saver when you could have instead a fireproof Elephant 150, seriously, a quick look on the web and we still have bins called Buffalo for sale and more awkwardly a dog waste bin called a Neptune, missed a trick there I think, it should have been called the Bad Fido or the Poocrate, not that many seem to be used now days judging by the amount of Poorniments we see hanging around.

Anyway, it seems it all runs out of steam when we get to bins created for cigarettes, they are simply called Ashtrays. How boring.

So in the interest of having nothing better to do I have decided to sex up my house and rename the furniture. So tonight I will sit down on my Cheeky Loungemaster Buttcaresser and watch a little bit of television whilst casting admiring glances over to my new acquisition the Essex EaZY Lay, a table of distinction. They all seem to fit in perfectly with my new Glasgow Tent hallway bus shelter and Jayne seems pleased with her new retractable Rampant bollard I've had installed in the kitchen. All in all I'm pleased with my purchases and I shall be ordering more in the new year.

And if you think today's blog is a load of bollards just wait until tomorrow, I'm almost at the bottom of the barrel.

 

www.petersmithcollective.co.uk Home Of Foreverbunny and the Impossimals

That's Amazing!

Today we celebrate all the achievements of 2012 with a quick look back at the people, products and events that shaped this memorable year.

In January Arthur T Grumple pictured above broke a world knitting record when he managed to complete a knitted bootie set and bobble hat in the amazing time of thirty minutes using only his spun chest hair. It was the first time the record for spun chest hair knitting has been broken since it was set by Edna Beard after her lightening sock knit in 2006 in which two people were injured by broken needles. Edna's chest hair socks have kindly been donated to Knittercity, the worlds biggest and greatest knitted chest hair museum.

After a cold February Ms T.Trimble became an overnight sensation after her YouTube video, 'How To Hula Hoop Using Just Your Neck' received 364 hits in one month. There followed a Hula Neck craze leading to hospitals being overrun by hula induced whiplash injuries. Ms Trimble remains unrepentant and followed it up in March with 'Crack Catch' a video explaining the mysteries of using your bottom cheeks to catch a variety of objects including footballs, cats and even pianos. Ms Trimble is currently appearing in the Pantomime Snow White where she can be seen catching the seven dwarfs betwixt her cheeks as they are fired out of a cannon.

April bought us a smile with Mable Scrubbable, who took on the world record for teeth cleaning. She heroically managed to brush her teeth for six days until she completely erased her head.

In June the annual Brush Bash took place in London. Pictured above is Sissy and Dotty just before the opening event. Over thirty women took part in the event which involved cat fights and hair pulling along with heated arguments over a dressing table. Sissy pictured left was the first lady to be knocked out when Dotty threw a particularly large soft hairbrush across the room hitting Sissy at the back of the head. Dotty subsequently said she deserved it for calling me a bitch under her breath the bitch.

Apple wowed the world with the latest gadget in August, the hands free iHead. This eagerly awaited device allowed Apple to directly control the thoughts of its users effectively turning them into iClones. A glitch in the mapping system caused mayhem at the launch after users reported believing they were in Peru and the geotagging location placed them in Narnia. Over forty million iHeads have since been sold and the latest add on iOwnyou has been heralded as the greatest thing since Apples last greatest thing. Some users have since returned their product after they realised you could not turn off the feature that automatically took your wallet out of your pocket and opened it in every Apple store after first checking your bank account details to see if you were fluid enough to enter in the first place.

The founder of Phooowar! magazine Arnold Letch celebrated it's thousandth issue by appearing as the centrefold nude holding just his walking stick. Never one to shy away from controversy this groundbreaking issue featured more fruit related erotic photographs than ever before and introduced for the first time the only existing picture of Arnold's most famous creations Naked Farm Fun Fondling Fruit Freely, a photo containing three goats, two pigs, an ostrich, seven bantam chickens, over a hundred melons, one suggestive banana, three kumquats, a rampant zebra and several pots of jelly. Witnesses report people uttering 'Mother of god!' before fainting in newsagents after accidentally seeing the picture.

In December all our dreams came true when engineers announced that they had managed to create a hover board made famous in the time travelling Back To The Future movies. The picture above shows their hoverbus version capable of carrying up to five passengers as they glide noiselessly around town. Remember, you have seen it here first!

Hover boards and hover buses will go into service after the technical faults have been ironed out such as the need to remove the gentlemen that help 'support' the levitation system. Experts predict that by 2013 we will all no longer walk but rather glide on superhighways called motorglides. The government has already announced funding to the tune of £3 billion and hailed it as the way forward comparing it to Betamax video cassettes as a games changer.

So an amazing year, if 2012 has been this great just what marvels does 2013 have in store!

 

www.petersmithcollective.co.uk Home Of Foreverbunny and the Impossimals

An Impossimal Christmas LIVE

So the Mayans got it wrong and the DFS sale hasn't ended today which was disappointing, so to blow away that end of the earth feeling why not enjoy Christmas With The Impossimals Live. As part of an initiative from Marketreach by Royal Mail, a set of pigeon holes have been set up to act as a social network. Members can mail items to their pigeon hole which will then be photographed and shown under your pigeon hole number online at www.welcometoreal.com, mines number 104 and the fun is about to begin.

Last week I finally mailed my Real experience, instead of opting to post things about my life or places I have been I decided to turn my pigeon hole into a stage set and have the Impossimals perform over the course of a few weeks a small sketch. It took a lot of preparation, around seventy seperate pieces make up the show and I mailed them in seperate envelopes along with written instructions and photos to enable the guys at Real to recreate what I had done I the studio. Yesterday it all began with three changes, Tweeted live, which you can find at either @WeLoveReal or at #ImpossimalChristmas The envelopes containing the pieces have been purposely split so as not to reveal the next part to the guys at Real, I wanted them to be in on the experience too although by the last envelope they may be tested on their balancing Impossimal skills!

So here's the beginning of our story, a Whoosh!! From the chimney, who on earth could it be?

I see two little legs, could it be the big man himself? Find out later by joining @WeLoveReal, following #ImpossimalChristmas, checking out pigeon hole 104 on www.welcometoreal.com or wait for my tweets and posts on Facebook later today.

 

www.petersmithcollective.co.uk Home Of Foreverbunny and the Impossimals

Hoff Yourself A Very Merry Christmas

If like me you always have the perfect Christmas with perfect food, presents and me then you should give me a call, if not, all you other non-Hoffs can follow my handy guide to Christmas. Ho Ho Hoff and away we go!

Christmas dinner for the Hoff is a perfect plate on a perfect table in a perfect house in a perfect world, Hoff world, to save you from yourself here's a guide on what type of Christmas cook you are and how to avoid a un-Hoff Christmas disaster.

If your Christmas dinner looks like this then you are what I call a 'drowner'. Overcooked veg and limp slimy meat partially saved by a large Yorkshire pudding is then hidden under a Tsunami of gravy that has started to separate into fat around the edges. This is un-Hoffy, it should resemble my massively chiseled handsome features, stare at a picture of me until you understand the Hoff and try again or learn to cook Beef Stroganhoff.

If you serve this you are too Hoff to handle. Man, the beauty of waffles instead of potatoes and luncheon meat wrapped sausages and frozen mixed veg is Hoff the scale, well done, you can sit at my table anytime. I might even show you my pocket Kitt.

Only the Hoff can serve deconstructed food because only the Hoff is awesome enough in the kitchen, in the dining room, in the bedroom, dang, I'm awesome everywhere don't hassle the Hoff with this bring me something Hoff the scale like a burger.

This is more like it, there is nothing more satisfying for the Hoff than settling down in my perfect body to chow down on a Pot Noodle and to finish off with a banhoffie pie. The ideal meal to share with your other Hoff on Christmas Day and whilst you dream about me as you eat your banhoffie pie you must listen to the Hoff and his special choice of music and gifts.

You can't get more Christmassy than this, listen to classics like All I Want For Christmas Is Hoff and The Hoffy And The Ivy sang by my friend who helped me bring down the Berlin Wall, penned 'Freedom' with me and advised me to wear a jacket filled with Christmas lights many years ago.

Straight Hoff the peg is my special Christmas jumper to cover my superb muscular body, get ready to get Hoff on this girls, nobody fills a jumper like the Hoff.

Hoff the time spent in the kitchen this Christmas with my self propelled rolling pin, the perfect kitchen aid accompaniment whilst you drink a hot cup of Hoffee.

The Hoff doesn't forget the little ones either, how about this attractive toy, it's only Hoff price at the moment an Hoffer you can't refuse.

As one final surprise I, the Hoff have allowed all my chest hair to be donated and turned into these attractive dog wigs. Sure enhoff they will be available shortly from my online store Hoffelujah.hoff, only one per customer. Wear the Hoff, feel the Hoff, worship the Hoff you know you want to, some like it Hoff.

Hoff yourself a very Merry Christmas, I'm logging Hoff but will return, you cant keep a good Hoff down.

Today's blog entry bought to you by the Hoff Outreach Foundation Family or HOFF for short.

 

www.petersmithcollective.co.uk Home Of Foreverbunny and the Impossimals

Bumper

Your pocket guide to Christmas Day television and beyond, simply use our patent screen scissors to cut out your computer or laptop screen to have this free guide to Christmas always handy.

Christmas Eve

9am Sinbad And The Eye Of The Chicken - Sinbad stumbles from a fantastic voyage battling mythical creatures into a well known chicken drive through restaurant only to find his Chicken burger is looking back at him. A fight ensues and Sinbad discovers there's more to his burger than he first thought as he uncovers a secret lips, eyes and arsehole processing factory. Disgusted he releases the Kraken in revenge and opens an ethical restaurant in Hull.

1pm Cash In The Attic - We visit celebrities with the HMRC for a Christmas tax avoidance special and find out just how much untaxed cash they really stuff in the attic and under their beds. Special guest appearance sponsored by Starloadsabucks.

2pm FILM - Santa Clause - When Santa falls down a chimney a legal battle ensues as Santa sues the entire population of the world for having unsafe chimneys and householders for enticing him with booze leading to alcoholism and mince pies leading to diabeties. Using legal aid Santa manages to win his case forcing banks to pay out billions in compensation, governments to announce austerity cutbacks worldwide and banks to ask for bail outs. As we slide as a nation into anarchy Santa sues again, this time for not allowing for his disabilities and failing to supply parking facilities for his sled and reindeers. Another win for Santa further squeezes the coffers and budgets to schools, hospitals, the emergency services and highway maintenance leaving the government no option but to announce will the last one to leave the UK please turn off the light. Entertaining! 5/5 *****

5pm Strictly Dancing On Ice In The Jungle - Dant and Eck, our chirpy presenters take seventy three has been celebs through several trials as they attempt to foxtrot wearing ice skates over crocodile infested pools whilst eating kangaroo gonads. Vote lines are now open dial 0800 YES-PLEASE to vote yes and make sure that we throw Dant and Eck to the crocs.

6pm The Snowman - Shown every year its a sad tale of a disillusional boy who has no friends and has to make them out of snow. Uncaring parents let him cavort about outside wearing nothing but his pyjamas and allow him to open his door to a naked stranger wearing just a hat and a scalf in the dead of night, a stranger that sinisterly tries out his parents false teeth before abducting the boy. A drug fuelled sequence shows the turmoil in the boys head as he experiences a flying sensation and dancing snowmen before being dumped infront of a jolly drunk who entices him with the promise of a present. Cert 18 - May contain disturbing drug induced scenes and a death sequence at the end.

7pm Coronation Street - In a family Christmas special a posse of Eastenders invade the street in an attempt to win this years soap awards. Gail Platt throws the first punch at Peggy Mitchell who retaliates by setting fire to Ken Barlows hair, twenty six fights occur simultaneously as the street erupts into Christmas violence when it is revealed that Pat Butcher is the love child of Ena Sharples and Arthur Fowler. A tram crashes through the flimsy sets whilst a multi car pileup causes mayhem in the shop when it tips over a display of tea bags. Featuring four plane crashes, three murders, two affairs and a partridge in a pair tree this episode will bring a smile to everyone this Christmas.

9pm A Christmas Nativity - Problems abound at Canterbury Cathederal when a donkey bought in to stand next to the manger goes berserk knocking baby Jesus to the floor and stamping on several wise men before being restrained. A delightful modern production guaranteed to bring a tear to your eye even if it's just for a wish for it to end.

9:30pm Lets Rev Your Kid Up - A program special designed to get your kids ripped up to maximum excitement levels so they play you up when you tell them it's time for bed. Guaranteed to make sure they wake up every twenty minutes from 1am to check for Santa.

12pm Carols From Westminster - Hopefully 24,365 Carols will attend this yearly event to try and break last years record of 22,615 Carols in one place. Participants must bring their birth certificate along on the day as proof of being a Carol. Our most popular broadcast will take you through the Carols as they file in and out of Westminster and are counted along the way. Rivetting stuff.

Tomorrow we have Christmas Day covered.

TV listings courtesy of Knob Twiddlers Weakly, your only guide to Knob Twiddling.

 

www.petersmithcollective.co.uk Home Of Foreverbunny and the Impossimals

Indiana Solo

Indiana Groans here, my rugged good looks is a hit with women, today I will let you into my secret, the secret that is the Mystical Corrupting Ruggedtash, a Green Tash Of Ruggedness and boyish good looks.

I was busy exploring the sacred Inca temple of Moustachazuma, a temple built to worship all things hairy, when I inadvertently triggered a trap and I was sent tumbling down a stubble slipway and into a pile of discarded trimmings. The fall was not intended to injure, I had found a secret entrance to the heart of the temple and was about to discover the greatest artefact I had ever found, the fabled Corrupting Ruggedtash. Whispered in conversations and written about in ancient texts it was a mystical item that granted the wearer rugged good looks. Being the explorer I am it was obvious I didn't need it but it needed to be safeguarded and put in a large crate to be forgotten along with that pesky ark thingy I found a few years ago. Nothing but bloody trouble was that, glad to see the back of it, just don't get me started about those cheap crystal skulls and that crap gimmicky cup I found next to that OAP knight.

So here I am about to see for the very first time the Ruggedtash, even I was amazed at what I found and believe me it takes a lot to impress me girls, even though you are impressed with my boyish rugged looks.

Behold, it even had its own inscribed case warning the holder of the potency of wearing this babe magnet. Waterproof too. It started to shake as my hand approached it, I assumed it couldn't cope with my awesomeness and sexy body. Suddenly it jumped up and attached itself to my face. I felt ruggedlicious.

Look how rugged it makes me, wow, I'd go for me. Hold on world I'm about to explode with so much manly ruggedness that there will be a babepocalypse.

See how it moves and transforms according to what I am thinking. This is the plumber come to fix your pipes if you know what I mean ladies, want to see my spanner? You know you do.

How can you resist the power of my ruggedness with these handlebars. Something to grip on to as you start to feel faint eh, ladies? Man I feel good, by the power of the tash I AM the original he-man.

Handsome overload, can you take any more girls? Magnum P.I. Tash and a mono brow, there is just too much of me and too little of you, I need to start a religion. Come worship Indiana, clothing optional, women only.

It doesn't get any more rugged than this, look into my eyes, I am what you are looking for, I am what everyone is looking for, a tash, tan and a fantastic body, you are powerless to resist, I even have a whip. I rule the world, you can't get better than me, I'm superman, I'm supermodel, I'm a god! All worship Indiana Groans!

Vader, I want that corrupting tash, forget that oversized planet you are building to take revenge on that princess, get it for me. Use your force powers to seize it from his grasping hands.

Tssshhhh Kaaaah, So be it, Tssshhh Kaaaah, Tssshhh Kaaaah...

I assume you dealt with Indiana Vader?

Tssshhhh Kaaaah, I dropped him off on the planet of the Wookies and stripped him of his tash and name, he is now called Han, a local name meaning freebooter of little or no value. We will not see him again. Tssshhhh Kaaaah, Tssshhhh Kaaaah.

Good. On with pursuing the princess using far superior technology, millions more troops and better weapons, what could possibly go wrong. Did you fix the smell in the lavatory block Vader?

Tssshhhh Kaaaah, it is fixed. I had them install an air conditioning port the size of a small proton missile, it may weaken the Death Star a little but nobody is going to notice that we have placed it at the end of a handy trench to make sure the smells escape. Tssshhhh Kaaaah.

Good. Do I look good Vader? Go on, you know I do. Damn, I feel rugged.

 

www.petersmithcollective.co.uk Home Of Foreverbunny and the Impossimals

Top Tip Tapir

Tipping top tips the Top Tip Tapir tips will enhance your life and bring you health, wealth and happiness. Maybe. Stroke my nose for extra special tips.

Tapirs Tips

Recreate a posh iPad by simply looking in a mirror and talking to yourself in 'Facetime', occasionally run your fingers across the mirror to pretend swipe.

Want a white Christmas this year? Simply cover the garden with Smash ready mix potato for a safe alternative that won't melt.

In a restaurant place a small plastic shark in your dessert and inform the manager that you have been given shark infested custard and demand a refund.

Recreate a visit from the Men In Black by drinking two bottles of scotch. The very next day you will awake in a strange place with no memory of events the night before.

Don't buy special convenience food, simply take a sandwich to eat on the toilet.

Hold any book at forty five degrees and whilst reading it slowly move it away from you for a thrilling Star Wars intro feel. Alternatively read the ending then all the pages in between in a random order to recreate a Pulp Fiction feel.

Cold hands? Simply get warm by setting fire to your gloves.

Crave attention when you break wind in a crowded elevator? Simply ask the people around you if they can smell popcorn, you'll get all the attention you need when they take a good deep breath.

Annoyed that you can't get an appointment at the doctors? Phone the vets instead and get in immediately, you may need to turn up in a cage or wearing a collar and lead to convince the pesky receptionist.

Make everyday a Scooby Doo day by adding Zoinks! to the start of every sentence and ending your day at work by saying to your colleagues 'I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you pesky people'

Fasten strips of fatty bacon to the tyres of your car to recreate a skid pan feel. Alternatively Sellotape monkey nut shells to them for super snow grip during the winter months.

Pistachio shells banged together make excellent sound effects for miniature horses.

Builders pretend your posh by lifting your steaming cuppa to drink using only your little finger.

Tapirs Top Tip Handy Signs

Avoid embarrassment by hanging this outside the loo after a good session.

Worried that slamming your back door will eventually lead to it having to be replaced? Use this handy sign to ask people to be gentle with your back door.

Finally a solution to your monkey car problems. Warn other motorists that your vehicle may shed banana skins and the loose monkeys could impart your driving ability with this handy warning sign.

That's it from the Top Tip Tapir so until next time it's ta ta from Tapir. Have a great day.

 

www.petersmithcollective.co.uk Home Of Foreverbunny and the Impossimals

Have Yourself A Homemade Ferry Mucking Christmas

With the sentiment 'Christmas is coming and times are hard here's your fecking Christmas card' ringing in my ears I thought I would bring you the bluffers guide to a perfect Christmas for less than 10p, probably. Impress family and friends with your thriftiness and thrill them all with special time saving gift tags, the ultimate Christmas tree using our handy planner and save £££ on crackers by simply making your own.

First up is this ornate gift tag cleverly using TXT SPK to appeal to youngsters (for all you oldies out there the above text speak actually says 'This is for you, a special gift from myself to a special friend). No more writing out personal messages, no boring Merry Christmas Grandad, enter the twenty second century and simply print out the above as many times as necessary and attach them to your gifts. It saves time, money and sentimentality when all you are interested in is what you're going to get. Occasionally you may get problems if the gifts get mixed up but hey, maybe Auntie Mabel wanted underarm hair removal cream, she could certainly do with it on her moustache.

Planning a perfect Christmas tree is never easy so why not use our handy chart. Simply print it out the same size as your tree and you can lay it down on a flat surface and try out different combinations safely and effectively before hanging it all on the tree. Avoid disputes, solve bauble position problems and work out the best way to trail tinsel. When happy with the layout use string to divide your actual tree into squares just like our grid and stand back shouting coordinates to your family as you hand them the decorations. Great fun and can be used year after year, no batteries required!

The price of mince pies and shots of brandy has skyrocketed this year so leaving a free plate out for Santa is a little foolhardy, he's fat enough and possibly on the verge of some serious medical conditions so help Santa out with this 3D imitation Santa treat for Christmas Eve. Santa will be thrilled, two, yes, two mince pies, a shot of the good stuff and of course a carrot for Rudolph, who after being picked on by the other reindeers you are now reinforcing his isolation from the rest of the group by only giving him a present. Fool children and adults alike by simply chucking the printout in the bin as soon as everyone goes to bed and replacing in with a real plate.

Do you prepare yourself for PP's on Christmas Day? PP stands for p*** poor and are last minute, unfathomable gifts that make you gasp in their awfulness. Often wrapped in the gaudiest of paper these shockers often cause major fights over the Christmas dinner as you continue to show your displeasure at getting a pair of slippers instead of a new convertible or private jet. Well, no more, now you can grimace and mouth abuse in secret with this handy grin on a stick. Simply hold this in front of your face for the duration of Christmas Day to fool everyone into thinking its the greatest Christmas ever.

Now for the ultimate cracker to pull look no further than the all-in-one Charade Cracker, a powerhouse of entertainment. For this you will need the following :

A Toilet Roll, kitchen roll, charades (write out your favourite movie or book title), a small dog lead (string), a toy dog (in this case an elegantly fashioned toy dog made from sturdy paper), a bang and of course a hat.

Simply make a toy dog, fold a small bit of paper to save money and embarrassment into a hat that fits on your finger, write BANG on a piece of card and stuff it all inside the toilet roll along with the string and secret charade.

It should look like this, use the remaining kitchen roll to stuff both ends. Place them around the table on Christmas Day and after dinner you can 'pull' them. The noiseless bang avoids worrying pets, the small hat nobody can wear avoids embarrassment, the winner of the pull gets a cherished toy dog which they can attach a lead to and 'walk' around the table and finally there is a charade for the winner to act out. My suggestion is you clear the table and get them to perform it on the table top in front of all your guests for the ultimate in table top games. I remember one year when auntie Maud's charade was 'Three Men and a Donkey'. After climbing on the dining room table, great grandad Bertie was rushed off with heart palpitations when she acted out the naked donkey scene and paramedics took two hours to extract her from the broken hostess trolley she used as a makeshift prop. It took a further three house to remove the crackers.

Good times.

So that's it for part one of the perfect thrifty Christmas, tomorrow how to cook dinner using free ingredients from dustbins and skips and of course how to jar jellied leftovers for friends, its the gift that keeps on giving.

Cheer up, it's nearly Christmas, were all in misery.

 

www.petersmithcollective.co.uk Home Of Foreverbunny and the Impossimals