Demis Roussos

Cocktail sausages and the aroma of them filled the studio today as I constructed part of Abigail's Disco Tailed Peruvian Party Python environment. It's all well and good watching what you eat but leaning over half a dozen bite sized portions is still difficult and resisting the urge to sample one or two was very tempting indeed, even more so when they sat leaning against the cheese and pineapple sticks. I know the sausage above looks a little odd but it's just the base coat, further coats will apply a glaze to make it look fatty and tasty.

Once the scene was constructed the whole environment was taken outside and placed in the grass to add to the realism, the sun, or lack of it added to the look and once everything was positioned I snapped away with the camera for the right look. The python itself was constructed as usual out of plasticine and needed several matchstick supports to hold it together, especially as it's linked rather dubiously using pipe cleaners. It did loose a few links along the way as I realised I was going to need a fifty inch long canvas only nine inches high, scaling it back to a more manageable thirty eight inches looked better anyway.

Whilst rummaging in the grass I came across this little chap inspecting my python. I haven't the foggiest where he has come from or where indeed he was heading, anything remotely watery is a fair hop away, maybe he was just a little lost or fancied a sausage, we will never know because as quick as he came he disappeared when I turned my back, very mysterious. Gathering up all my things I returned indoors to the heady smell of cheese and pineapple. Maybe just one sausage after all. Nom, nom, nom.

Did I say one? Oh well, I must have misheard myself, I could have sworn I said finish them off.

Shaker Maker

The plasticine models have pretty much become a permanent feature of the studio, at any one time I will have half a dozen of these cluttering up my desk illuminated with a standard halogen lamp. The depth they can add really does make them worthwhile. The photo above is the model for the painting below.

It's allowed me to get the shading and shadows just right and more importantly portray the stripes at the right angles. This is a relatively simple one though, it all gets more complex the more you model.

Bigger scenes require more care and attention, this one had hand made wallpaper and carpet, it took around four hours to model and get right.

Others are more simple to do, in this case these two took less than ten minutes to create, the rest of the scene however took two days to complete, it's a shame they get destroyed once finished with though.

This took a lot of plasticine even though the heart is basically formed from balsa wood and foil underneath, this heart and Impossimals was eventually placed in a box and lit from the side allowing the shadow to cast across the background.

You can see the difference in this portion of the painting, already the shadow looks more natural, far more accurate than I could imagine. All this from something as simple as plasticine.

Bonnie Tyler's New Satnav

A news article today caught my eye, an avid user of the UK's road network the headline 'Satnav Summit Maps Out Plans To Help Drivers' sounded intriguing. A meeting to put an end to drivers being sent the wrong way and new solutions to avoid lorries and such being sent down country lanes sounded like a good idea. Satnav directions are really just an aid, reliability can be a little misdirected at times. I remember one particular journey up the M1 where we were directed off at a junction and back on the same junction for no apparent reason, a bug in the road information that took three months before it was finally rectified.

Then I noticed the last paragraph '...next month we are allowing local authorities to reclassify roads'. Oh dear, not content with reducing the limits from 60 to 50 on most routes we now have a new wave of activity allowing local authorities to introduce new signage, change roads from A to B and even C or vice versa all under the guise of helping. Speed kills, I have lost friends this way and yes, speed was a factor so I understand the need for road safety, what I don't understand is taking the driving skills away from the driver.

As I see it to be a good driver you need several things, concentration, anticipation, attitude and knowledge. Concentration is simply keeping your self focused on what you are doing, driving, anticipation is reading the road both in the long, medium and short distance, attitude is trying to be calm and tolerant, a skill which is probably easier said than done and finally knowledge, the understanding of road rules. So the thought of being channelled along certain routes at certain speeds being overloaded by signs telling you what to do coupled with threats of speed cameras and 'enforcement' along the way pretty much kills the driving experience and in turn changes us from using all our good driving skills and replaces them with a set of instructions to which we need to pay more attention to than driving itself.

So take any of these skills away and you start to cause problems, the reclassification of roads could actually be a bigger issue than the headline grabbing 'Satnav Conference'. Funding will be available to 'encourage' reclassification, unfortunately no limits have been put in place so roads could be re-classed as a fund raising exercise, local authorities can quite easily reclass the same road several times as it passes through different councils, a major problem for Satnav manufacturers, imagine an A road becoming a B then back to an A, when working out the fastest route the Satnav software would look for another A road to avoid the B section effectively moving the problems somewhere else.

Expand that across the whole country with each authority taking it's own stance on the reclassification, multiplied with the fact that most authorities will not talk to the adjoining authorities then pretty soon we will have an unholy mess of variable speed limits, the funnelling of traffic to certain routes and black spots where seemingly to the Satnav no routes exist as they have been effectively downgraded enough not to appear.

Did you know that local authorities are in some cases removing the road numbers from road signs to discourage traffic in some areas? Neither did I until recently, it seems things have been moving along this direction for a number of years.

Hmm, sounds like I'm being a bit too grumpy about all this but after driving all over the UK and seeing the same problems I need only to look a few miles from my home for one of many examples. The road in question is undoubtedly a road that has received more than its fair share of casualties. In open countryside for some part it ices over easily on corners and it's long stretches and smooth surface in this short stretch between Market Warsop and Cuckney encourage speed so it was a road ripe to be looked at. Ideally the corners should have been carefully indicated and the surface treated to increase grip, speed should be lowered from 60 to 30 for the short strip through Cuckney village and it's multiple crossroads and no overtaking solid white lines added for the hidden dips along the straight stretches.

Instead, in an overzealous attempt the offending corners have been resurfaced with a surface that acts like glass, it's silky smooth and turns into a skid pan at the slightest drop of rain, still very little indicates a potentially dangerous corner, but even more overzealous is the new speed limits. The image above shows a three mile stretch starting at the bottom with the red strip.

Red is 30, green is 60, yellow is 40, purple is 50. Three miles with eight speed changes and oodles of warnings of hidden speed cameras and local civilian enforcement. You spend more time reading signs and adjusting your speed than you do driving, it's this type of thing I have seen occur over and over again throughout the UK. So unfortunately it looks like it's about to get a whole lot worse Satnav convention or not so on that bombshell I will leave you with my favourite Satnav joke.

I bought a Bonnie Tyler Satnav the other day, I wouldn't recommend it, it kept telling me to turn around and every now and then it falls apart.

Gloopy

I admit at first glance it does not look that appetising. Even the first smell can rip your nostrils apart whilst the chilli equivalent of brain freeze assaults your head causing dizziness and an aversion to limbo dancing. 'Quite harmless' was one quote I remember the first time I had this stuff, 'it's a tad hot' is another, both were wildly inaccurate and moments later I was writhing around on the floor crying like a baby whilst sweat poured from every pore, flames came from my ears and smoke out of my nose.

I'm talking of course about traditional Jamaican Jerk seasoning, not the soft safe stuff but the real deal, the one that makes any food stand up like Chuck Norris and challenge you to a bare knuckle fight. It took me a while to get used to it, I had to start with the soft stuff and build up but now it's a staple on the BBQ to add to my chilli addiction. Why am I talking about this? I don't really know, ah, yes I do, I have been tracing a route through history all the way back to 1655 and the Maroons, communities of escaped slaves who either joined indigenous peoples or eked out a living on their own. All part of a new round of research to link origins of objects and inventions over a 500 year period.

It's already thrown up some surprising weird snippets along the way. Take Belgian Queen Henrietta, the wife of king Leopold II. She kept a pet Llama that was specifically taught to spit at anyone who stroked it. Or the word for toilet or lavatory which has progressed colourfully through the English language with such gusto each century having it's favourite name, 'Jakes' (16th century), Necessary House (17th century), Cackatorium (18th century) and onto 'Boghouse' (19th century). Incidentally, Germany has the most amusing name 'donnerbalken' roughly translated I believe as 'Thunder Board'. Tee-hee.

Even more surprisingly was the Newgate Prison records, the history of capital punishment, law and order and Scotland Yard, all things I had been linking until I found it all sailed close to home with a chap called Syd Dernley, who was Britains last surving hangman and run a post office in Mansfield not too far from my house.

Anyway, back to today and some yummy Jerk chicken for lunch, lot's of paperwork to sort out, a little to do in the studio after the weekends appearances before putting in some more serious hours from tomorrow. Incidentally we have added two new dates to the appearances, the first is Sunday 15th April, at Treeby And Bolton in Keswick, Cumbria and the second we have managed to shoehorn in is Sunday 17th June, Castle Galleries, Glasgow. This weekend coming we have The Acorn Gallery in Pocklington on Saturday 10th March and The Original Art Shop, Preston on Sunday 11th March, full listings are available on the updated website.

I'm off to jerk my chicken. Ooer!

Europlop

So Arnold Dorsey using the creative name of Engelbert Humperdinck is to stand for the UK in the Eurovision song contest this year, famed for taking occasional fashion risks and topping the UK chart for six weeks with Release Me I'm not too sure what he will do for our failing euro reputation but he can't do much worse than some of the other entries that has been fielded over the years.

I remember the grand old days of the contest during the 70's and early 80's when Europe was such a diverse arena that we chuckled our way through the prime time Saturday night Eurovision show listening to songs like Mil etter mil, by Jahn Teigen of Norway in 1978 or Nuku Pommiin, by Kojo, Finland in 1982, songs that looking back felt like they were designed to frighten elks. Everything seemed so 'foreign', even the costumes reflected the diversity. As for the Eurovision being a European contest even that causes controversy when in 1980 it got a bit creative and Morocco was included, work that one out.

Anyway, on our way to another bashing I had a look back at some of the worst entries that we had fielded during the Eurovisions golden years before it all became a little too serious and political voting started to take it's toll.

Only The Night, by Rikki came 13th in Brussels, 1987, it started with possibly the worst introduction too, here's the link should you wish to view. Viewers of a nervous disposition to 80's fashion may wish to look away.

One Step Further, by Bardo whilst not horrendously bad compared to most songs only managed 7th in 1982, taking into account the home advantage as the Eurovision came from Harrogate in that year it could be viewed as a double blow. Still, they did get on Cheggers Plays Pop and even appeared in the Christmas special of Top Of The Pops.

I could go on with Mary Ann, by Black Lace, 7th in 1979, a song that left such a scar, just like A Message To Your Heart by Samantha Janus, 10th in 1991 also nightmare fodder but it's not just the Eurovision that throws up such dubious songs. You only need to look at the charts over the years to see there really has been some awful records that managed to become incredibly popular.

Forgetting 'hit's' like There's No One Quite Like Grandma (St Winifreds School Choir) and Grandad (Clive Dunn) some of the hits charted on both sides of the Atlantic making them monster monster hits. Long-Haired Lover From Liverpool by Little Jimmy Osmond still haunts me to this day.

So I will leave you with this. If you have never seen or hear this before then please walk away now, like a banshee once heard it's never forgotten, once seen Little Jimmys pleading will be burned on your retina for ever. Should you need support after watching you can contact O.M.G.I.H.S.L.J.O.A.N.I.C.F.I. Our operators at 'Oh My God I Have Seen Little Jimmy Osmond And Now I Cannot Forget It' are waiting for your call.

All calls are dealt with in strict confidence, no information on your Osmond viewing habits will be divulged. We are trained professionals and promise not to laugh.

Much.

White Rabbits, White Rabbits, White Rabbits.

It's the first of March and according to folklore the best time to say white rabbit three times, although I think Mr Retriever has gotten it a little wrong. What do you think Mr Putty Tat?

 I think it's swell and deserves a big grin but ask my friend and Kit-ternet nerd Mr Whiskers Von Purr.

 Sorry, can't talk, busy, busy, busy. On the Kit-ternet nobody knows your a cat. Did you know the Kit-ternet is just a load of tubes filled with cats? No? And, and, and, we are all cats, even you. Talk to Alkycat he'll tell you the same...

 Ahhh, yooouuure all a load of wwwwwaaaannnnnttt moorrr beeeeeer. Burp. Whatcha doin, where am I. I'll ave eight ace and a teensy drop of rum. Naw get outa ere before I, before I, before I.... Zzzzzz.

 Lets ask Tomas the Kat Engine. Watch out disdain dog, here he comes!

Don't worry, I have found a safe place, now what's all this about white rabbits?

Drip

We noticed the kitchen tap had started to wobble slightly whenever you moved it's spout left or right. Visions of it suddenly coming completely off and spraying a fountain of water twenty feet into the air with me trying to plug it's new outlet with my thumb spurred me on to investigate the cause.

Under the kitchen sink is not the best place in the world. Firstly it contains all our cleaning products neatly tucked away, secondly it's always cold, don't ask me why but every sink I have been under has a distinct coldness as though it's haunted by a recently passed plug or something. Once clear though I could see the underside of the tap, the only problem was I couldn't make out what I was looking at.

I had expected to find a pipe or two for the water and a large nut to tighten it onto the sink, instead I found two pipes, three mini pipes with twists, a large nut that seemed to latch on to nothing and a long brass tube around two inches long. Even worse I had to lay on the floor to see this much and getting my hands too them across the rest of the pipes from the plughole and washer meant I had to perform a spiralling pirouette and flex my joints in a position that can only be described as excruciating.

Twisting various components trying to work out what to do I did manage to raise and lower the plug, disconnect the overflow and burn my fingers on the hot pipe at the same time. It took a while to figure it out as it dawned on me that the last thing I checked, the brass tube, was actually a mechanism to lock the tap to the sink.

Finding it was one thing, finding a tool to do the job was another. For a start it was completely smooth with no grip so using pliers and such was a no, no. At the end was a very small nut shape object around 2mm thick and of a shape that no tool I had would fit it. The inside was hollow so I couldn't shove anything in their either. My only hope was two small grooves cut opposite each other that look liked it could take a screwdriver. There followed a good twenty minutes of searching, checking and cursing every screwdriver I had as each one I tried felt like slipping a glass slipper on a horse.

The gap was massive, my screwdrivers were small. D.I.Y became D.I.Don't until I remembered Ralph. I don't know where Ralph came from but he is a very large flat blade screwdriver that doesn't get out much. I only remembered him because I used him on Bunnyopolis last year then placed him back in his dark corner. Ralph I was sure would do the job.

Well, to cut a long and possibly boring story short, Ralph did work, eventually. The length of Ralph made it incredibly difficult to work in the 3cm cubic space underneath the sink. I had to carefully thread him in followed by my hands then brace myself to get a good grip whilst the hot pipe burnt a new line across my wrists. At the point where my joints were on the verge of dislocation and maximum pain was achieved I felt Ralph turn and the tap tightened.

Phew. Remind me never to hide Ralph again and possibly never to consider being a plumber for a job.

Your Local Yellow Thompson

A long, long time ago, in a world far, far away there existed two tomes of information that was regarded with some reverence and formed part of every telephone table throughout the land. The first was the telephone directory, categorised into areas of the UK it acted like a paper version of Facebook except interaction was limited to, obviously, a telephone. Also friend requests using this method could be quite awkward I'd imagine and often led to the heavy breathing type of call regarded as unsavoury.

Anyway, I digress, the second tome was of course the Yellow Pages altered to fit into today's society with a new dumbed down and snappy version of it's name, Yell, which is essentially a loud, sharp cry and possibly the meaning of life or an exclamation of surprise or pain depending on how you view these things.

Yesterday our new slimmer, smaller and possibly more amusing 'Yell' landed on our doormat. Probably like most people today the Internet has become the source for finding such things as timber suppliers, tyre specialist and the like so in it's own way the new Yellow pages has become more of a local comfort, showcasing everything around you in one grand volume, a condensed slice of your community delivered straight to your door.

The strange thing that has happened though is the advertising has almost become too local and can sometimes read like an episode of 'That's Life' from the late 70's, a popular entertainment program that featured 'amusing' stories and newspaper errors and adverts. Let's take the new Yell and have a flick through it shall we?

This is the staple of the new directory, straight to the point. Problem with wasps? Then fear no more with Wasp-B-Gone, only £35. I wonder if that is for each wasp?

 Most adverts show pictures of their services, this particularly amused me, amongst the rats, wasps and cockroaches pictured these also apparently can banish telesales people too, I can only assume the OAP discounts they are referring to is to save OAP's money and not an offer to remove your OAP's at a reduced rate. Unless that's what the unmarked vehicles are for...

I though I had come across some strange dog stretching service until I realised it was for a vet, looks like they went a bit too far trying to fill their advertising space, I'm sure they don't grow like this, well at least not without getting an extra pair of legs for the middle three feet. 

 Ah, driving lessons, even these are suffering from a kind of mild mania. I had already come across one offering 'Amazing Prizes To Be Won!' as a promotion but if I needed one I would go with this. I'd love to test out the 'No Shouting GUARANTEED'. So let me get this straight, if I went 120mph the wrong way down the M1 wearing a blindfold and steering with my feet you would guarantee no shouting? Cool.

Intriguing is the next entries. Three different and no doubt reputable places to have your brum brum fixed, I'm just worried at the same guy working at all three on the same car with the same tool.

 Look, he's here again and on the same page too, obviously it was a problem that bugged him as he moved jobs.

 Still no joy with that pesky car, time for a more serious shot, get that tool working!

Hang on, what's this? Under takeaways, a vast section that in my location included more 'restaurants' than grains of sand on a beach and usually ran to a good two thirds of the book had changed. Now they thoughtfully listed entire menus! Wow! Now that's what I'm talking about.

Changed yes, for better I'm not sure but one thing is certain it gets 9/10 for pure entertainment and long may it prosper.

Sprung

Yesterdays uncharacteristic warm weather bought out the bunny in Bunnyopolis. Sensing Spring around the corner Aaran, Jura and Iona spent the day flinging themselves around the garden in preparation. We also noticed that they had started to moult in readiness too, which should help Iona's expanding waistline due to the fact she will eat anything, and I really do mean anything. You come to that conclusion when you find her licking the dust off the bottom of the food bowl.

Bringing out the bunny does have it's issues though, Jura decided to carry on with her excavations started around September last year. We thought we had carefully filled it in and even included a brick in there to deter diggers but out it came as power bunny ploughed into it. Still, it's nice to see them living their natural life and she had such a look of intense concentration it would be unfair to stop her fun.

Plans are in place to add another addition to Bunnyopolis, in the center of the grassed area I'm designing a small structure, basically a raised platform with roof and a sloped approach that turns ninety degrees. Probably not the easiest thing to describe but hopefully once built it should provide interest, shade and a new element to explore, a sort of bunny castle I suppose, just need to make them small bits of armour, lances, wooden swords, minature horses... only kidding!

Butter Ornaments

Strange the things you find in the garage when looking for other items. Wedged at the back, underneath an old pile of comics was this, a butter box. I have no idea why I have it, where it came from or what happened to the contents, although I don't believe I ate all forty blocks of butter. Looking back, maybe I did. A quick look around the side uncovered more mysteries, it was a box from 1975. What on earth was I doing with this back then?

 Opening it up it gave some sage advice to all butter stockists in no uncertain terms. 'Order Weekly!', 'Bring Forward Stock!' and my favourite 'Keep Away From Smells'. The thought of this last one turns my stomach, was it really that easy to flavour butter?? Mmm, smokey bacon or maybe stand it next to the cleaning products to give your butter that nice clinical Demestos bleach taste.

I'm really not sure what is worse, the box or it's contents, a hideous collection of disgruntled Christmas ornaments. After emptying its worrying contents I did eventually find what I was looking for.

It was this, a large glass ball that I remembered I had that I needed for a spot of painting. I also found a JD whisky glass strangely full of pink. Now that must have been a night to remember. Carefully stuffing the ornaments back in using a claw hammer I resealed the ancient butter box and retreated from the darkest corner of the garage taking my new possessions with me.

Streamline

Work is nearly done on all the updates I wanted to do and all the streamlining is coming on a treat so hopefully I will be back with the blog on Sunday!

Technocheese

A nice long day in the studio working on some additional pieces has meant time has just flown by and we are rapidly approaching the Lost Impossimals launch date. To coincide with this I'm starting to change how my social media side operates.

After experimenting with the Facebook timeline I'm changing how the blog is socially encountered. I noticed that because it's posted nearly twice everyday, once from Blogger and once by a repeat tweet from Twitter the new fangled Facebook starts to filter out every second post for most people. Even doing something as simple as posting a photo in the morning can trigger any new entries, including the blog to be placed at the bottom of the interest pile in the newsfeed effectively burying it. Time for a de-clutter I think!

To combat all this and to streamline my Facebook timeline the blog will carry on it's daily updates only now it will be posted at it's original location http://petersmithartist.blogspot.com/ unless the blog entry carries information that needs to get further, such as appearance dates, releases etc. Then it will appear on my Facebook timeline. So that should tidy that up, don't forget you can visit the blog anytime and it will always have more to read than what is on my Facebook page. I'm also disabling the cross posting from Twitter too, nobody wants to see the same thing twice.

So a bit of a tidy up all round, if I get time I will see if I can integrate my RSS newsfeed into my website and maybe add Echo which will really turn the website into a real interactive service.

Roll Up

With less than a week to go till the launch I thought today you might be interested in all the stages that went into one of the most complex to paint - the Barnum's Bar Bending Ringling Clipperwhip. It all started with a quick sketch and an idea, an idea I really needed to see in 3D so out came the crafting tools and I made myself a mini set to work in.

Using modelling clay I roughly rolled and bent the body into shape adding supports to help the legs from bending. The whole scene is on a lazy Susan, a rotating base used in cake decorating which allows me to move it around without hassle.

 Next came the heads and detail. Paper stripes and spots were added, a little bit of a circus poster for a vintage feel and several fake weights on the left, a cane on the right and in the centre a podium of some sort.

To make it more realistic I added one other element to the background, a bunch of balloons, then darkened the room and lit the scene as I wanted it. The shadows looked great and quite moody, it's this photo that formed the basis for the next stage.

 Transferring the idea to a board using a grid I masked out the Impossimal so I could work on the background unhindered. As it contained stripes this is a usual procedure for me, background first building to foreground then adding in the Impossimal. It's painted on black because I wanted to use the transparency of the paint to show the black through in areas, especially the shadows, and it allows a great use of pinpointing with Titanium White.

Stripes in place so most of the tape could now be removed.

Then the rest of the elements are added along with a straw floor and the important shadows to define depth. Notice the light hitting the ball on the right and the intesity back into the straw beneath as part of the reflection.

 Now we can start on the Impossimal, working from right to left I put in the first layers of colour.

 Then I start detailing, here the teeth are starting to get the rugged look using the grain of the board to help define them.

Finally all the basics are finished, I even added an angry bird on the podium looking to the right of the picture. The idea is of a second painting that includes pigs to explain why the birds are so angry. All that was left was a week of adding colour glazes everyday to really lift the intensity of the colours.

And done! All colours intensified, pinpointing done, shadows made accurate and enriched and a protective layer of touching up varnish applied. Barnum's Bar Bending Ringling Clipperwhip completed in just under five weeks.

Twist It!

 It all seemed such a long time ago when I pulled out my tea stained and baked paper and began the long hours of writing up all my notes and tracing the timeline to produce the first version of the guide that eventually became the souvenir guide book for the new Lost Impossimals - The Complete Twistory tour.

Holding the guide book in my hand over the weekend at the official launch and looking at it's bronze leaf lettering was a proud moment, explaining the concept to the galleries was something else entirely though, with little time but an overwhelming amount of information to get across both myself and Jayne were all talked out by the end of each day.

But let's start with the guide itself, limited in quantities I suggest if you are looking for one please contact your nearest gallery and get yourself on the mailing list or attend one of the many appearances, if the interest shown in it during the show translates into the galleries then it will quickly become a collectors item in it's own right, which incidentally, is exactly what I am hoping it will be as the whole collection has been lovingly crafted to reflect the three years love and attention to detail both myself and Jayne dedicated to it. Washington Green has to their credit done the Lost Impossimals proud helping me put together a quality, collectable and desirable body of work.

The opening of the guide gives a hint at what's inside, you are presented with the inside plate of a Victorian encyclopaedia, this is no ordinary art catalogue after all, turn the page over and you get to meet Charles Burroughs, explorer and collector of the Lost Impossimals.

This short history lesson sets the scene for the entire collection, an explorer who disappears, a forgotten crate and an accidental discovery at the National Museum of Antiquities, the basis for an exciting adventure.

Each 'plate' in the guide fills you in on the background to the Lost Impossimal, taken from Charles extensive notes, allowing you to learn a secret Twistory, a story connection between The Lost Impossimal and an event be it an invention, leap in knowledge or simply a classic book.  Now comes the Twistory, 90% of everything in the Lost Impossimals is true, the other 10% is pure Twistory, it's up to you to decide which is which and if you hear the story from a gallery I have asked them to add their own personal bit of Twistory too!

Here's where the fun starts, you are going to take the role of Charles Burroughs. I want you to add your own Twistory to any piece you collect from the tour, on the back of each and every edition is two tags to confirm authenticity, one is the official museum tag the other is Charles 'official' story for the piece, if you pass the story on maybe to friends or family I want you not only to try and convince them it's true but also add a little extra Twistory in there that you have thought of. When you are confident that you can do that send me the new Twistory story to your piece or pieces via impossimal@gmail.com, the best three will win the original signed Lost Impossimal Twistory documents that I prepared two years ago and may even get a visit from me and Jayne to present them personally if we can at your nearest participating gallery. Full details will appear on my website a little later.

Now on with the story, hidden in the time line on the central pages of the souvenir guide is Lost Impossimals which do not form part of the initial seven releases, now you can play explorer and try and find the location of these pieces to help build up the online archives of the National Museum of Antiquities.

The other hidden Lost Impossimals are in the form of originals, own any original you own part of the timeline and the bespoke story for the piece which is included on the back of the original. Even the galleries are unaware of who will get what and where but they may be able to help you track them down throughout the UK as the appearances begin on the 18th February. As an example, above is the Peruvian Party Python, it's gallery whereabouts is currently unknown but find it and let me know the first line of the story via e-mail and I will activate it on the Lost Impossimals website for everyone else to discover and read about it and I will also include your name on the site as the official 'Lost' discoverer.

So that's the start, I'm not going to post the rest of the Lost Impossimals quite yet as the galleries need to digest it all and also I need to wait for the official images to be released but for those of you who have already received the first batch of Souvenir Guides I hope you like it and look forward to seeing you all in a few weeks time in Solihull and Bristol :-)

One last thing, the Lost Impossimals movie, yes, you did read that right, should be released in time for the beginning of the tour at the end of next week. Squeeee!