Doctor Do and the Horlicks
A freak electrical problem on the Doctors postbox time machine caused by a passing inebriated member of the public urinating through his post slot finds our Doctor flying out of control sometime around 12:33pm on a Saturday only to find himself at a unknown location...
The Doctor stepped out of the postbox covered in last nights mail and smelling of wee, it had been a rough one he thought to himself, "I wonder where I am?". The place was filled with a familiar setting, trolleys were in the entrance, tills to the right and snacks and newspapers in front of him. "Hmm, seems familiar but something's wrong. Where is the comforting green text of Waitnose or the orangeness of Saintburys? All I can see is blues, yellows and reds. I must investigate further."
Before the Doctor could take it all in thundering through the door came a family of, well, a family. A chain smoking couple dressed in leisure wear approached pushing a trolley, twenty six kids followed each one eating a slice of Billy Bear and sporting a language the Doctor instantly recognised as pottymouth, a dialect that seemed to be on the increase. They swarmed around the Doctor in their eagerness to get to the frozen chips and the Doctor found himself swept further and further into the supermarket.
As they all swarmed away to look at frozen pizzas the Doctor suddenly realised where he was. "Noooooooooo!!!!!!". He was in Libl. In serious danger the Doctor pulled out his sonic ballpoint pen, it didn't do anything he just called it that because it sounded cool at parties, he spoke softly to his ballpoint comforter as he had not yet realised that a pen friend is a completely different thing altogether. "Don't worry my little ball pen friend I will guide us to safety"
He was in the bakery area, that's not good either as they are always at the back of the store but he knew supermarkets like the back of his hand, if he went up the baking and egg aisle, through the crisps and snacks he would then need to take a right at the fizzy pop then a quick left through the tills avoiding the small temptations stacked along side them and the special offers that seem so enticing.
Avoiding any type of contact the good Doctor weaved and dodged through the surging throng of bargain shoppers doing their big shop to make it as far as the salted peanuts when he realised that this store had fooled him, no longer was things ordered and easy to find, he was in the supermarket equivelent of Pyremark. Double trouble. Each aisle was unlike any he had witnessed before they all looked like a jumble sale, salted nuts next to tinned peas, beans next to pasta, it was all so wrong. In bewilderment he wandered around the next corner and along the sauce aisle. He couldn't help himself, he had to reorganise things, "Order must be maintained!" he screamed, "Or the space time continuum and my shopping list will be ruined!"
Working like a demon the Doctor scooped up an armful of tinned tomatoes, "These need to go near the tinned beans, then all the pasta shapes need to go near the spaghetti, then chocolate near the crisps, so much to do so little time!" As the Doctor run around the corner with six tins of beans he heard a shout over his shoulder. "Oi! what do you think your doing?". it was a Libl Lumpa, the guardians of the aisles and creator of the mayhem he was now trying to put right. Dropping the tins he ran as fast as he could down the coffee aisle, if he was caught it was all over and Libl would take over the world.
He ran that fast he didn't see the eight foot display of chocolate Horlicks. The good Doctor was found under three hundred and seventy two boxes of the stuff that had taken three weeks to construct, they were on offer too, not that it did the Doctor much good as he was restrained and taken to the managers office pending charges.
Next Week witness the Doctor as he tackles his greatest foe yet, in the Doctor Do Post Office Conga Queue.
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