Zucchinisnakeyette

Every year we grow courgettes, I don't know why because every year we have the same problem, what to do with them. We have tried everything to make them enjoyable, from grilling slices coated in garlic olive oil and sprinkled with Parmesan to adding them to a ragu, all with the same results of biting into a wet sponge and tasting like, well, like the word bland. If words had taste when you said them I'd rename courgettes disappointments which exactly describes the taste too.

I think my problem comes from they way it has the ability to hold on to all the heat and concentrate it in its watery contents so one bite and it's like the centre of the earth has been poured into your mouth, that's probably not quite true if like me you believe the centre of the earth not to be full of molten lava but instead populated by bowler hat wearing unicycling monkeys doing the wall of death, if they ever stop boy are we in trouble, gravity would not exist and Earth would stop spinning so keep on peddling my little primates.

Where was I? Rambling on again no doubt, I wonder if I have some kind of attention deficit disorder? Oh, puppies! Hey Macarena! I love lollipops.

Courgettes or vegetarian sausages from the devils own larder, have, this year decided to go berserk after a move from a small bed to the new Bunnyopolis veg bed. No longer are we getting sporadic fruit, now we are getting five a week each the size of donkeys doo-dahs. One that I dare not even approach is now the size of the Graf Zepplin and I swear if I carved out it would make a handy canoe for six. So what do we do?

Feeding them to the residents of Bunnyopolis is one idea but there is only a small amount their diet can handle, giving them away is another option but how many do you give away before "hey, thanks guys!" changes to "gee, another courgette, thanks."

So in the interest of science I made a fine sculpture, may I present Grass Snake Slithering Through Fallen Autumn Apples.

If you think that's good wait until you see my other 'Courgetture' sculpture, "Donkey Exposing a Trist Between Two Rampant Naked Sheep Whilst Mooning a Pig". From the looks of people's faces I have made a good job of impressing the neighbours, especially as I found the perfect use for the three foot one I had been saving, donkey would be so proud.

 

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