K9PEE

Just when you wanted it all to end the Doctor is back! Travelling in his extraordinary postbox shaped time machine that moves through time and space under severe restrictions such as only being able to travel between 9am and 5pm on the same day and only being able to transport the Doctor to supermarkets Doctor Do's adventures are legendary amongst Do Do's, the Doctors biggest fans, let us join the Doctor on his latest adventure.

For those of you unfamiliar with the good doctors adventures you can find the previous episode here

Previous episodes available

Episode 1 - Doctor Do And The Horlicks - click here

Episode 2 - Doctor Do Run Run And Rise Of The Garlics - click here

Today's episode is Doctor Do Goes Dogging

Sat scrunched up in the Tardydis the Doctor could barely see the 'on offer' leaflet from his local Murrysons. It had become the highlight of the week when it plopped through the Tardydis slot every Wednesday, around tea time, although sometimes it would be late and the Doctor would get anxious about missing a bargain. Such fine fare and all at reasonable prices, the good Doctor loved being thrifty and lived lavishly on tinned peas and cola, although sometimes he was rather naughty and allowed himself to tuck in to tinned sweet corn instead. This is the life he thought as he struck a match to lighten the gloom.

'Wow! Tinned peas are down to 27p, I must stock up! Come along K9PEE let's go and fill our trolleys with goodness for tonight we feast!'

K9PEE was a tin of beans that barked and had accompanied the Doctor on many an adventure after releasing K9PEE in a dramatic rescue involving blamange, a trampoline and two goats at the local Spar branch in Chipping Norton. K9PEE was gone, hunting around the two square feet Tardydis interior and checking all his pockets the Doctor became more and more frantic. 'Noooo! K9PEE has been kidnapped! I must rescue him!'

The Doctor squoze out of the Tardydis postbox door as quickly as possible and dived into the Murrysons store where he was parked. It was 5:45pm and full of single shoppers. 'Damn, everyone's cooking for one, this is going to be harder than I thought'. He was right, single shoppers tend to buy tinned and ready meals, any one of them could be the kidnapper. A muffled woof from around aisle six confirmed his suspicions but he could not accurately locate the source as an announcement of a spillage on aisle two drowned out the barking. The Doctor dashed over to the meat counter for a better view scanning baskets as he went. At the end of aisle six was a lone shopper, a middle aged lady with a basket, from this distance he could see several tins bouncing about.

'I'm here K9PEE!!!' The Doctor yelled as he ran, slid and rugby tackled her to the ground. Wrestling with her limp unconscious body he pulled out the basket from underneath and rooted through the contents. 'Talk to me K9PEE!' the Doctor pleaded but he was greeted with silence. Picking up the cans he realised they were the wrong brand. 'Sorry!' the Doctor shouted as he ran away.

After making several other 'mistakes' he found himself in aisle two, tinned produce. A feint woof came from one of the displays. A pyramid of baked beans had been stacked at the end of the aisle, exactly where the woof emanated from. But before the Doctor could investigate a burly Murryson guardian of the store after witnessing the customer carnage on CCTV strode in front of the display. 'You're nicked my son.'

'Kidnapper!!!!' The Doctor yelled as he hurled down the aisle hands outstretched to grapple his foe. Failing to heed the early warning of a spillage the Doctor hit a spilt milk patch and his feet slid from underneath him. Travelling at speed on his back turtle like with his feet extended he connected exactly with the security guards Crown Jewels. With a mighty Ooooooffff and tears streaming down his face the security guard crashed backwards into the tinned bean pyramid, hit the edge of the bread counter and landed face down in the muffins.

The Doctor had plenty of time to reflect from his prison hospital bed, K9PEE didn't exist, it had all been a misguided trip after eating an out of date tin of peas and mixing his cola's. 'Silly old me' he chortled. Just then he heard the bedpan moo.

'Daisy Loo La is that you?, I haven't seen you in years you little tease' the Doctor caressed the full bedpan in his arms. 'I'll take that you dirty boy!' said the matron as she entered. 'Kidnapper!!' Yelled the Doctor and leaped out of bed...

Pending further charges for bedpan battery the Doctor reflected on the day. 'I never did get those peas did I K9PEE? K9PEE? Where are you?? Oh, No! Kidnapped again! I must find you!' said the Doctor with some urgency as he tried to leap out of bed only the be restrained by the straps.

 

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