If you received this Victor annual in your Christmas stocking in 1966 you probably marvelled at all the manly things in its contents. From big game hunters to snipers and footballers, it's so packed full of testosterone it's more likely to buy you a pint and whip your butt with a towel in the showers but beneath all that musky overtones lays something a little more unnerving, get ready for Fifty Shades Of Victor.
It was the end of a wild night, one minute it was a party and the next something that the sword master had never witnessed before, stumbling upstairs he found somebody had left...
So that's what the banging was he thought as he untied Chesil from the bed, better hide that...
And...
Or you will be...
And you know what that means. Chesil didn't want to be first in the barrel, he had learnt his lesson when he realised that the cupboard under the stairs is no longer referred to as a glory hole.
Down stairs the sword master bumped into Julie, reminding her to keep quiet about last night, not that it was required she was too embarrassed to talk about it, she should have realised when the sword master said to her 'brace yourself or...'
The party though was still in full swing and the sword master removed his clothes as he entered the reddish room.
' Let's get stuck in, anybody fancy a pant python?'
In the corner things were already hotting up in a regal way although they had gone too far the other side of the room when the livestock escaped...
Even so, Tupper, the youngest participant was enjoying himself...
'In for a penny in for a pound' said the sword master as he donned his mask and was tied to the rack...
He was stretched starfish like in a new position called the allotment that ended an hour later when someone shouted...
But before he was untied their sordid activities were interrupted by the vice squad that burst through the door that very moment...
They all protested, including Chesil who was only now covered in Vaseline and wearing a leather cap but one by one they were bundled semi clothed in the police van.
Said the policeman as they closed the door, 'The mayor will pay for all your services at his special party, are you up for that?'
'You bet!' said the sword master 'as long as...'
THE END
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