On the 8th December the house was plunged into darkness at tea time as the national grid in our area decided to have a nervous breakdown for two hours. 8th January it had a relapse and again refused to work, only this time it decided to disrupt breakfast for an hour. What is happening? Do I have to plan to be without electrickery every eighth of the month?
Quickly referring to my suppliers powercut leaflet I followed their advice and went around the house, checked the manual release handle on the stairlift, made sure any sensitive equipment was unplugged, we have a microwave that is tempremental but it certainly not sensitive about its shortcomings. I also switched off any equipment that was on, although the loss of power had done a better job than me and finally informed the Red Cross as suggested because it looked a bit inclement outside, oh, and it also suggested we set up a neighbourhood soup kitchen as we don't have a gas cooker. My did I get some funny looks as I banged on people's doors dressed in my jimjams. Basically it suggested a lot of do it yourself and not much of 'give us a call, we would be happy to help' kind of thing so I sat in the warmest place in the house, bed, and my mind started to drift.
It didn't drift very far, in fact it triggered a recollection of a dream I had last night when Humpty of Play School fame went on a trolley rampage in a supermarket and I was sat in the trolley kid like at the time. The last thing I remember is being smashed into the fish counter as Humpty failed to negotiate the biscuit aisle at speed ending up face down in a bag of prawns. Where on earth do these come from? Then I remembered...
Last night I watched Miranda, a comedy written very much like 'Hi-Di-Hi' and 'It Ain't Half Hot Mum', it even ends the same way with the cast smiling and waving whilst a the words 'You Have Been Watching' appears. Anyway, my dream it seems was triggered by a subliminal Humpty. Take a look top left, there he is sporting large glasses and a slightly pained expression. Funny thing is I don't remember seeing it last night but this morning I remembered it enough to rewind the digital recording to find it. Strange.
The vagaries of the human mind still astound me, so tonight I am trying an experiment, I'm going to line up a few objects and make them the last thing I see before I enter the land of nod and try to dream tomorrows blog entry. It's like Inception meets Total Recall on a shoe string, in fact where did shoe string come from, are they not called laces?
I'm off again, here's another thing that's happened today, normally we go swimming five days a week, nothing strenuous, just twenty or so lengths acting as a little break from the studio and today was no different. Well, no different until I felt the urge to vacate the pool very quickly after watching someone enter the pool with at least six plasters randomly stuck on their hand and a semi stained pad and patch on the back of their hand. It's not the entering the pool that made me get out it was more the fact that after they had completed a length they stood up and touched their hair revealing all the plasters and pads had gone and a nice weeping wound remained.
In the interests of not wanting to digest used medical patches I decided to cut my swim a little short and go and get changed uncomfortably in a busy changing room. Reason for uncomfortableness? Five naked men bending over simultaneously. Never mind moons, it looked like five puckered black holes if you excuse my language, immediately my mind leaped to my episode in a Cardiff public toilet when I unwittingly walked in on three naked men, legs up on the sink vigorously rubbing themselves with towels and willing to chat to me as soon as I entered. Better clarify that, entered as entered the public convenience not as, well, you get the idea, I know where your mind goes with this you naughty sausages.
As you can see, it's been a funny old day so to cheer it up a little I'm treating myself to a trip to the local DIY store to buy some wood.
Rock'n'roll.
www.petersmithcollective.co.uk Home Of Foreverbunny and the Impossimals
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