Monday, April 22, 2013

Roll Up, Roll Up

In times of need there are changes indeed, roll up, roll up and witness the first ever farm and fairground hybrid in the country. Destined to be a 'must see' money saving attraction. Why go to the fair, why go to the farm when you can do both at the travelling Funfarmfair.

Love pigs? Then try our coconut sty and send your nuts flying. Simply load your pigs tail with a wooden ball, guide it into position using a wooden board and walking stick then fire! Kapow! In no time at all you will be a pigapult specialist and also have a lovely new pink friend to play with. Prizes include a years free manure, all the pork scratchings you can eat or our special prize of a chance to muck out Matilda, our twenty six ton Gloucestershire Old Spot using only a dining fork.

Prepared to be scared to death with our spooky Goats Train! Witness goat-ly surprises around every corner as your muck cart trundles around our makeshift barn. Cower I fear as Count Dracugoat swoops from above, cover your ears as you approach the bleating of the Goatshees, be physically sick as Frankengoat sprays you with fresh milk, devours everything in sight and poops small marbles that smell of pure evil. Survive all that and you get to see a real poltergoat in action, you never know where the next bleat will come from. Left or right? Or just maybe YOU will be the one that's bleating to get out alive.

On the Goat Train nobody can hear you bleat.

N.B. The Goat Train is manned by real goats, keep all your hands and limbs inside the muck cart at all times unless you want to lose them. Also hold on to any bags containing food, hats, scarves, gloves, watches, small children etc as our spooky goats get very, very hungry indeed.

Say flook to hook a duck and hi to Hook a Hen its 21st Century replacement. A hundred hens are bobbing around in small boats in a water filled feeding trough. All you have to do is hook their boat using our magnetic hooks and reel them safely in. If you find that the hen has an egg then you get to keep it! How cool is that, real hens, real eggs, real fun. It doesn't get more 'hens on' than this, play more than once to win more and you could go home with an omelette!

Forget mirrors, the Hall of Moos is far superior. Inside we have a selection of cows waiting, simply walk down the line until a cow moos. Stop at that cow and read its name for hilarious results. Are you a Fat Cow? Or maybe a Skinny Cow?, did the Ugly Cow moo at YOU? Such fun. Take along the wife, the mother in-law or any of a multitude of people you wish to be appraised. New for 2013 the Irritating Cow and Loud Cow.

N.B. We do offer a mother in-law special service where for an additional £5 you tell us which cow should moo and we'll do the rest.

Lambs love to run around haphazardly, leaping about like little springs. Now you can enjoy in their gambolling too by using our foam rings and gently trying to hoop a lamb. A simple game that will leave you entranced and delighted all at the same time and put you in the right frame of mind for our next attraction.

Real unwashed wool, dyed pink and dipped in sugar. It's the food that keeps on giving, one stick of candy wool will last forever, well, it seems like forever as you suck away all the sweetness inside. Once done you are left with a pile of fresh wool that you can use to knit yourself a nice jumper. Our gift to you.

We do hope you visit soon, for you information here's where we will be over the next few weeks :

28 April - Old McDonalds Farm, Eieio, Andonthatfarm, Hehadapig. EIE IO. tel. 5318008

 

No comments: