Thursday, September 19, 2013

Mr D

Tssssk, tssssk. First is not your father but a fruit found only on Alderbaran's seventh moon. Say it after me l'apple tssssk. Again, l'apple tssssk.

On the far reached of Epsilon 17 is a planet known the ultimate source of Sith energy. Felinetistopia is home to the psychic felines of the t'internety, they are called...

Chats, tssssk. Le Chats rule with an iron fist, they would rule with an iron thumb but the god pencilsphicter removed them shortly after creating them when he realised that they could hitch lifts and open doors rendering humans useless.

Tssssk, ah, a good one. La force, good for all manner of evil doings of do gooders and talk of do gooders do you know what they left behind the last time I had them to stay?

Scum, rebel scum all the way around the bathtub the dirty non believers. All they do it run around in bathrobes trying to blow up Death Stars and spouting about how hard done to they are. Well take it from me tssssk, you want to try being a brain in a plastic flip top bin and a calculator strapped to your chest that's being hard done to, at least I get a funky red light sabre although you all take the fun out of that when youdisappear leaving me just your brown smelly robe to clean up. I'm talking to you Obi Wan you soap dodger.

Finally a use for wookies although if you cook them too much they become chewy, get it? Do ya? I'm such a card tssssk, I should be in films. At least I can say my lines unlike that idiot Yoda. All he had to say was yes, I can do it and what does he come out with? yes, do it I can. Mixed up all the bloody words and he gets an Oscar, really is there no justice in this gallery?

Sheesh, I'm off to scrub the bath.

 

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