It's nearly that time of year, Christmas time, misery and whine, children bleating all the time, with no gas fire and no electricity, a time to curse the util-i-ty...
Anyway to while away all those cold days where you have to choose from heat or eat the latest from the government is to play games to keep you moving so in the interests of helping here's a selection of top games to play this Christmas with your family.
Hide And Reek
Turn those Christmas leftovers into an amusing game by simply hiding them all around the house. Leave them a few days then as you family to join in and find all the rancid leftovers using only their noses. Such joy can be had, chuck a few prawns down the back of the sofa for a stonking aroma, place overcooked brussels at the back of underwear drawers and leftover trifle placed in shoes and slippers also make great hiding places that are difficult to nasally detect. Be creative, get the neighbours to join in by posting chicken drumsticks and sausage rolls through their letterbox, Sellotape peas to lamposts for a special hide and reek outdoors edition.
For this you need several players and one referee / bondage expert. All the players hands are tied behind their back and made to lay face down on the floor where their legs will also be trussed up to their hands so all players can rock forward but not easily escape. Place all the players so they are facing each other in a circle no more than five inches apart from face to face. On the count of ten empty a jar of pickled hard boiled eggs between all their grimacing faces and the fun begins. Each player must gobble as many eggs as they can within a sixty second time limit. The winner is the one who either gobbles the most or manages to last sixty seconds without being sick.
For this you need a deck of cards and a group of friends. The cards are shuffled and placed face down on the table whilst the players remove their upper garments. Each player takes a card from the top of the deck an lays it face up on the table for everyone to see. Once all players have taken and displayed their card the player with the lowest card loses and the remaining players take it in turn to 'twist' either of their nipples as hard as possible. If they scream then they are taunted for being a wimp and no longer is allowed to participate. The winner is the one with the least red nipples.
It's exactly like charades only all your acting out of a book, television program or movie has to be done in silence whilst wearing a pantomime cow outfit. Correct guesses can be acknowledged by filling a water pistol with milk and spraying the 'guessers' with a simulated udder squirt.
Pass The Persil
Sit everyone in a circle and play some music. Give a bottle of Persil to a player who then has to pass it only to the left. Randomly stop the music, whoever is holding the Persil must wash the pots after dinner.
Minimum two players. Decide who is going to be the shopkeeper and who will be customers. The game starts when a custome approaches the shop keeper with a random item from around the house and asks 'how much is this?', the correct reply from the shop keeper is 'a pound'. If the shopkeeper fails to say the phrase then the customer wins, if after several hours of play you have used up every household item then the shopkeeper wins, unless of course one of the players has already uttered the words 'for gods sake, when will this bloody game end!' then we all lose.
Place a television remote control on the floor and seat all players around it. Spin the controller just like you would in a game of spin the bottle. Whoever the controller points to after a spin gets to choose what to watch on television. Fantastic fun for all the family and what a great talking point at parties, spice it up a little and devise forfeits such as watching television with the sound on full volume or if you are really feeling evil get your set top box to record nothing but Bargain Hunt and have a 48 hour Huntathon with back to back episodes.
Those Winter months just fly by in our house. If you have suggestions for further games to play on these long dark nights then post them under plain brown cover to Bored Games, The Yellow Skip, No Sharp Objects, PO Yaketty Yak.