We at Shopping Home Offers During Dinnertime Yields channel, SHODDY for short have a massive list of bargains to fulfil everyone's Christmas needs and make shopping as painless as possible whilst delivering fantastic gifts at fantastic prices for all the family.
First up is for the man who has everything, a back shaver. No more getting the wife to trim your back hair with shears, all it takes is this handy tool and you will be back stripping in no time. Comes complete with three extra blades and a set of matching first aid plasters. Why not add out hair catching belt to your order for the ultimate in back tidy trimming.
With chart music now seemingly out of touch with the majority indulge your loved one with the sound of clattering sticks and tinkling bells as four grown men hit each other with inflated pigs bladders to the tune of a penny flute. Instantly you will be transported back in time to a gentle period where men wore brightly coloured clothes and danced around each other ignoring girls. Bliss.
If you don't fancy a bit of light music why not settle down with a nice mug of tea, light your pipe and put your feet up to the tune of a Brimmington Master Plough turning over twenty six tons of soil. Over six hours of tractor rolling action. See entire fields ploughed in less than an hour, marvel as we join the POV camera action from the drivers seat of a Spudstoker 2000 as it performs a hair raising thirty six point turn with a muck spreader! Order today and receive the XXX rated video Spicy Sheep Pt II Ramtastic absolutely free!
Tea bagging as you are probably aware is the art of folding tea bags into unusual shapes. Imagine receiving this delightful tea bagging book in your Christmas stocking and spending Christmas Day tea bagging all the relatives. This step by step guide will allow you to transform the humble tea bag into elephants, ducks, rockets, skyscrapers, planets, universes and mugs of steaming hot tea right here in your own home. Invite friends around to tea bag, make delightful gifts for tea bagging parties and for the adventurous amongst you try tea bagging blindfolded.
*NB Since this books released it has been bought to our attention that Tea Bagging is NOT tea bag folding. Buyer Beware!
Want that fancy new drill but also need something for the wife/girlfriends Christmas stocking? Our two in one designer leopard skin cordless power drill delivers on both levels. Your wife/girlfriend will be impresses/thrilled with this combo present which can be delicately displayed on any dressing table for admirers or used to secure shelves, drill masonry or screw screws. An optional clutch bag attachment is recommended for all those pesky drill bits.
Maybe you have a friend with a delicate problem, you know, one that you find a little difficult to bring up in conversation. Well our new range of Blunt Books uses children to get their message across in a delightful charming way. From drugs to alcohol, from public nudity to uncleanliness we have a book for every problem. Show them you care, let them know you know their problem this Christmas.
Also available 'Mummy, Why Do I Look Like The Milkman' and 'There's Wally' the ultimate Where's Wally spoiler book.
Know a cool person? Maybe it's you? Maybe it's a friend, either way then can upgrade their coolness to awesomeness using this handy guide. Just buy this book and dress in jeans, a comfy sweater and have a haircut just like this awesome guy on the cover and you will be awesoming awesome stuff everywhere. Awesome!
If you have any children and they have reached that tender age approaching their teen years then this book will help them through the rest of their life. A book to be cherished as it teaches everyday lessons through the use of expletive language and graphic illustrations to show the process from childhood to angst torn twenties through the cocky thirties, coping with middle age madness, the quick slide downhill with saggy bits and ultimately, death. It doesn't get any better than this, the book that keeps on giving.
Finally a book for that problem we all get time to time, needless to say this multi-million selling book has been reliving the symptoms of constipation since 1972. Written in a jovial familiar style it details just how to release Pooh effortless and painless with the help of a few friends.
We hope with have given you a few must have items on today's show, as usual, all our goods carry a money back guarantee that no money will be given back, you can have our word on that.
A SHODDY production for Freesat Channel 525536.
www.petersmithcollective.co.uk Home Of Foreverbunny and the Impossimals
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