Friday, June 29, 2012

The White Horse Of Whohah Woohah

Filling up the latest addition to Bunnyopolis, a large semi triangular vegetable bed, took a lot of doing. Tons of earth had to be moved from one side of the garden to the other, not a big distance just a repetitive dirty and heavy job to do when you are not used to work like this. Eventually though we nearly filled the new bed and decided to top it off with a peat free soil improver. It was in one of these bags of improver that I found this, a small white plastic horse.

Now I don't know the history of why it ended up there in the first place or even what it's original use was for but lets imagine a little and perhaps give it a reason for being...

The White Horse Of Whohah Woohah

A long time ago when people wore funny hats and used words like verily and sire there was a toy maker of great repute famed for his fantastically detailed and extremely large painted wooden horses, toy horses fit for Kings and Queens and Princesses and Princes and even Queencesses, can you imagine that!

He lived in Whohah Woohah, a small village in the kingdom of Wullandianobledom, which if you think that is difficult to say try Snoofytoofyrootybootie, the word for thank you in Wullandianobledom. Our toy maker spent his days making his fantabulous horses for his wealthy clients but deep down he was unhappy, unhappy because his clients were so wealthy that only Kings and Queens and Princesses and Princes and even Queencesses could afford them and he couldn't lower his price for then all the Kings and Queens and Princesses and Princes and even Queencesses would be angry and this made him sad. For all he wanted to do was to make toys for all the children to enjoy, children he saw everyday as he looked out of the workshop window.

Our toy maker turned to his latest work, a very fantabulous looking horse for a very important Queencess. It had striped legs, a spotted body of many colours, twenty bows for a mane and a tail that twirled and twirled around that was grand enough to be the hair of the Queencess herself. He stood back wearily and admired his horse, surely this indeed was the best toy horse he had ever, ever made, the Queencess would be so happy. He covered it up with a sheet and went to bed, tomorrow was a special day, tomorrow was the Queencesses birthday, tomorrow the Queencess would come for her horse.

That night our unhappy but skilful toy maker couldn't sleep, he was kept awake by the thought of all the toy less children and everytime he shut his eyes they returned in his dreams to look through his workshop window, longing to be able to play with one of his fantabulous creations. Eventually he did manage to sleep a little too well actually...

He awoke to a hammering on his workshop door, oh, no! He had overslep and looking outside he realised to his horror that the Queencess herself and a hundred carriages full of shoes, clothes, sweets, chocolate, shoomball cake, Wubberwalloons and toys of many descriptions lay waiting. She had come for her fantabulous horse, a horse fit for a Queencess, a horse fit for a Queencesses birthday. Today was the Queencesses birthday and boy did she look unhappy.

'I demand my horse!' she bellowed, 'Its my horse and I want it now!'

For Queencesses are quite rude you know.

'If you don't open this door by the time I count to ten I'll scream and scream until I feel yick, then I shall put you in a cage and poke you with a stick, then I will feed you cake until you are sick'

For Queencesses are very, very, very rude indeed.

Our toy maker ran downstairs and flung open the door, the Queencess had just started to scream but not yick. 'Out of the way little man, I want to see my horse' she screeched as she squeezed and squished her way into the workshop. For Queencesses are not only rude, they are also stuffed full of food although that would be crude to point out not to mention lewd so I will not be quite as rude about one stuffed with food.

'Your f-fantabulous horse my Q-Queencessness' our toy maker stammered out, for Queencesses were known to be rude you know, as he removed the sheet from the horse.

The Queencess was yick, then sick and with a big kick shouted 'This is not my horse! I'm mad and bad and your going to see my dad who will poke you and prod you and place you in a cod stew for the horse you have created is just not right, you have until tonight!' and with that our squishy screechy Queencess departed slamming the door with such force that even the walls wobbled.

Indeed, it was not the Queencess horse the toy maker was horrified to see, gone were the stripes, the spots, the bows, even the twirly tail and lost its pose and all that remained was a little girl, short and proud dressed in a gown that was neither quiet or loud. In her hand was a horse of miniature size, every inch the same as Queenies surprise. It had all the stripes, spots and bows too with a twirly tail of the greatest bright blue.

This is for you said the girl as she offered it over. Upon taking it though all the colour was gone, it was just a plain horse for he was not the one. The girl was a guardian of children worldwide, as you were a child in part of your life, you let your childhood leave and hide in the dark, it's time to find it so don't be a snark.

She had come to show the toy maker a path, to one of great happiness and not one of faff, for making his toys for those that are rude was actually quite wrong and she did not approve. Make from the heart she told him wisely for that's when in return you will stop feeling so sad, keep up the warmth and kick out the bad.

The miniature horse she explained was only for children, chosen by need and not born of greed, make all your toys like this one horse and hide them away where they can only be found by those that play.

So that's what it is, the horse that I found that lay somewhere deep in the soft ground, waiting for a child to have a great need so in a child's hands it becomes a magnificent steed. The stripe, spots and bows all reappear, even the tail looks better than ever and it becomes once again a fabulous toy, in the right hands it brings so much joy.

So if you are larger or wider or taller than a small person who would value the horse remember its there for need and not greed so place it back until next time it's freed.


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