Thursday, August 16, 2012

Once Upon a Dramatisation

Gift number 5,653 from good old JD dropped through my door, the latest in a long line of history I have with JD since I idly filled in a beer mat sometime during the 18th century, such is the length of time these things have been plopping through my door. Previous items have included bottle openers, key rings, clips of varying uses, calendars and enough other items to fill a small JD related museum. I used to get a little annoyed and tried relentlessly but pointlessly to remove myself from its mailing list, but, times are a changing.

The latest is a bit different, thoughts have turned to food with a recipie book that uses JD as the main ingredient on all it's stuff of course and a nice packet of steak and rib seasoning. It's not everyday somebody sends you random spices through the post and I am now starting to warm to the twice a year plop of the envelope through the door and the silly excitement that wonders what on earth are the going to send next. Unfortunately it's never been a crate of the stuff itself but hey, when they do send it I will use my JD keying, hang up my JD calendar, open a beer with my JD opener and place it on my JD placemat whilst I fire up the BBQ for a JD food fest fronted with a JD spiced steak.

In unrelated news four new Impossimal prints will be released in a few weeks time as we swing towards Autumn, I'll bring you more on that a little later.

In even more unrelated news I recently purchased a small portable radiator for the studio, it's a simple affair, you plug it I and it gets warm, not hot, just warm so you could put your hand in it all day and not get burnt. Hey, you can even kick it over and it's safe and there are no nasty places to insert objects to cause injury. So I was quite surprised when I read the instructions.

The appliance apparently is not to be used by persons with reduced mental capacity, physical injuries or sensory deprivation. Sounds a bit harsh, basically if you're hungover it's a no, no then. I mean, what type of reduced mental capacity are we thinking of? Does that mean if you have forgot where you have put the car keys you cannot switch it on? It carries on too, lack of experience and knowledge is also listed as a reason not to flick the switch unless, get this, unless you have been trained by a person responsible for your safety.

Still, it seems to be a trend, I happen to catch an advert the other day for a product, I forget what it was but it's something like a toilet fresher or something but it was animated and featured lots of fairy tale stuff. Splashed across the bottom was a disclaimer. 'Product advertised features Fairy Tale dramatisation'

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought it was real when that unicorn flew out of the toilet and Rapunzel used her hair to clean the lavatory bowl. I'll certainly think twice when I sit down now and i'll be sure to shoo away Billy Goat Gruff first.

Honestly! I must go now, there's Pinocchio waving to me from the garden and I must join him as we are going to Cinderellas ball where she has got some glass slippers for me to try. Here's my pumpkin coach now pulled by six mice dressed as butlers. Bye!

*Today's blog features fairy tale dramatisation and reference to alcohol. Contains infrequent innuendo's, slightly amusing sentences and sometimes facts. We do not endorse cleaning any toilet with your own hair or the wearing of glass slippers, especially when under the influence of alcohol. This disclaimer is not for people with reduced little fingers, if your little finger is littler than your middle finger then please find a suitably digitally trained individual to train you to read this disclaimer. Hickory dickory dock, the mice ran up the clock, the clock struck one and the others got away with minor injuries. Humpy Dumpty sat on his ball, ouch!

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