Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Half Naked Exploding Penguins

The other day I noticed another thing in a long line of mystifying things I notice only this time it was on the washing machine. It's the symbols they use that mystify me, this one looks like I'm about to receive a loaf of bread out of its circular door whilst the last symbol that you can just make out looks like the time machine vortex in Austin Powers. That aside though I was even more mystified as I left the supermarket a few minutes ago to see a customer carrying a brand new boxed vacuum cleaner called, wait for it, for it said it very proudly on the box, the Naked Truth. Yes, a vacuum cleaner that proclaims naked truth.

What a strange concept, I can imagine what went on at those meetings.

'Right then chaps, sales at Vacu-sucks PLC have take a bit of beating with this old recession malarkey so we need a new angle, you know, sex it up a little. Give it some of that Grey effect thats out there, any ideas?'

'I know sir, why don't we change the colour!'

'Not sexy enough Simpkins, we have a product that deals with filth, ramp it up a bit!'

'How about calling it the Sir Suckalot and make it all in chrome, or, or, paint it pink and call it the Dirty Girty?'

'Close Simpkin, you're on a roll, give it some more, really let fly!'

'Err, right then, the Sucking @!*??@&? Thruster with Pulsating Throbing Handles and Ramming Action plus our first ever crevice diddler attachment.

'Whoa! Too far Simpkins, too far! Come to think of it deeply worrying too, rein it in boy!'

'Sorry Sir, got a bit carried away with that one, sorry for thrusting in your face at the same time too.'

'Try again Simpkins, just keep your trousers on and get off the table.'

'That's it! That's it Sir, Naked! Naked as nature intended with all our bits on display so to speak, you want to see the action well now you can, all that sucking and pumping on display, it shall be called the Naked, the Naked Truth!'

'Well done my boy, well done. Genius. You know what the best thing is? We don't change a thing, just make it in see through plastic and write Naked Truth in red letters on the side of the box so even people in supermarket car parks will notice it and give us a mention. Have a pay rise Simpkins and oh, go and change your trousers'

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