After the Horsegate scandal and the discovery of Dobbinburgers in supermarkets a fresh wave of uncertainty swept across the nation yesterday as spaghetti bolognese ready meals were removed along with a few other choice products, apparently they were found to contain flavour so were considered unsafe. Fearing the worst I raided our cupboards to find out if we had any mystery meat ingredients hidden away, after working out that Blue Dragon sauces didn't contain any dragons I stopped panicking and delved further only to find a healthy dose of stupid.
Tuna, a fish, and if I had purchased tuna in the supermarket I would expect to get tuna which if you didn't know is a fish. Tuna can be quite 'fishy', it's a fish you know. Oh, I'm sorry, did I tell you that tuna is a fish? Apparently we have all had lobotomies so thoughtfully emblazoned on the tin of tuna is a nice handy 'contains fish', for extra emphasis the word 'fish' has been printed in bold. I'm glad they told me that, here I was sat in my underpants about to open it and expect Beyonce to fly out riding a pig. Really, they should label things far more clearly.
Well I never, sweet corn is vegetarian. All along I though it was a fish.
Mushroom soup, yum! Did you know that the list of ingredients on the back of a product is listed in order of quantity? Those listed first are the main ingredients and it reduces to the smallest at the end. So you can imagine my amazement that mushroom soup, being made of mushrooms contains only 8% mushrooms, the rest is mostly water and thickening agents. I worked out that the price of this tin of soup divided by the mushroom percentage works out that each mushroom costs you around 12p. Lets just think about that for a minute, if the mushrooms quantity was raised to 25% you would have a tin costing £3, that's some serious mushroom soup. After that bombshell I'm off to have some chicken soup.
Or should that be chicken flavoured starchy water? Only 4% chicken? You're spoiling us.
Still, it's always pleasing to know that there's someone out there to help you. Struggling to know what to do with a time of beans? Maybe you have been slotting them in your ear instead of your mouth, well struggle no longer, phone this handy Consumer Careline and they will tell you where to shove them.
Nuts contain nuts and are not suitable for nut allergy sufferers because they are made in a factory that uses nut ingredients, but you already knew that didn't you. Did you know a nut isn't a fish and tuna isn't a nut?
But I'm sorry it has gone too far, the most unacceptable thing I have come across is that they have now started spoiling my enjoyment of those little bags of air I buy from them by putting a few crisps at the bottom of the bag and that is downright despicable.
Today's blog has been bought to you by www.groundgrandmotheringredients.co.com, bulking meat products since 1066.
www.petersmithcollective.co.uk Home Of Foreverbunny and the Impossimals
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