Monday, March 04, 2013

Product Pacement

In a vain effort to raise funds for the blog we are now allowing advertisers to tout their wares however dubious. Here's a few words from our sponsors.

Chick on Chick action!

Yes, real chickpeas on real chickpeas waiting for your call, hear them making houmous. XXX rated for the ultimate in Whole Chick action. Call 0938373 0283736 0283646XXX now!

Calls a cost £7 a second and will last sixty minutes even if you have had enough action.

XXX Long, slim and ready for action! XXX

"It's so big!"

The only Cacti Exhange service on the net, want a cacti for the night? No problem, find a Cactibuddy in your area now! It's the plant with benefits. N.B. www.cactiXXXchange.xxx does not take responsibility for any damage, please practice safe cacti exchange and follow our simple Cacti safety rules.

'Grab my melons, pull my plums!'

Watch as we 'double up' on a apple and get down and dirty with a pretty peach.

TEXT "FRESH FRUIT ACTION" to 01827364 72646FRUITY1 and receive a torrent of fruity talk that will have you zesting at the mouth. WARNING : includes graphic descriptions of unpeeling bananas.

'Talk Dirty To Me'

CALL 827363 EIEIO Now to chat LIVE with Cedric Hubblebottom, president of the manure and fertiliser society of Great Britain. Down right dirty talk about the benefits of compost, soil improver and peat, now includes by popular demand how to remove dirt from under your fingernails after gardening.

'Its downright filthy!' - Ann Avid Gardener, Sussex.

Should you wish to advertise on these pages simply send ten pounds and a naked picture of yourself to the usual address, sorry, pictures submitted cannot be returned and may be used for training purposes.

 

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