Oh no! A chance find on the Internet has set my mind all a quiver this morning and turned my stomach in equal measures but more of that later. Coming across this candle creatively named 'Whiskers On Kittens' led me on an electronic paper chase to find other names used to describe burning paraffin. You wouldn't believe some of the names I found but I really started to enjoy myself when I found a section called Man Candles with exciting names like 'Man Town' and 'Riding Mower'. Seriously, those board meetings must have oozed testosterone. I'm waiting for two new fragrances to be released, 'In The Pub' and 'Meat and Two Veg' to cater for the typical man on the street and make a nice companion to the other two fragrances 'Muscled Moron' and 'Babe Magnet'
See, it's set me off again so whilst we are at it lets look at the crazy world of paint names, can you guess the colour from these?
1. Sexy Pink - OK, this one is pink but how the hell do you make pink sexy? Maybe you need a bit of this...
DO YA THINK IM SEXY?
There, I have passed the curse of Dogs In Pantyhose on and turned your stomach too, once seen never forgotten. This image is burned on my retina, that along with a naked Anne Widecombe riding a pig. Who does these things? Anyway where was I, ah, paint colours.
2. First Dawn - A pale blue
3. Dogs Ear - Pink again, getting creative aren't they?
4. Baby Turtle - Soft Green, a little odd but hey, somebody must like it.
5. I'm bored now - No really, I'm bored so lets make our own paint range up and name it...
Here's our new Spring Collection entitled Mansfield Memories...
Lets start with the red/brown colour bottom left, it's called 'Hint Of Dog Egg', inspiration has come from little walks and spotting this particular colour left in small curly pyramid shapes adding a splash of colour to otherwise grey pavements.
The blues are from our 'Sing The Blues' collection, a blue for every blue mood you will ever get. Purple, that attractive splash in the middle of our palette is called 'Saturday Night Bruiser' followed by the crimson top right 'Nose Bleed'. The brown at the top middle is from the 'Takeaway' feature wall colours, this particular one is 'Curried Revenge'. The rest of the range is called apathy and I can't really be bothered to tell you about it.
Didn't believe it the first time? Didn't think so, here's one last one to make you hurl this morning. I'm off for a spot of painting and a bit of therapy to try and remove some of these images.
Don't have nightmares!
Eeeeeeek!!!!!
www.petersmithcollective.co.uk Home Of Foreverbunny and the Impossimals
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