Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Dicktionhairy Fore U

I could get used to these long hot days, for once I have taken a break from creating anything and decided to while away a few days doing nothing. Do you know how hard I find it?

It all started when I sat down in the garden, I panicked. Doing nothing is just not what I do, I have to be doing something but what little could I get away with to call it nothing? Nothing really, so I sat and watched the world go by, bees buzzed from flower to flower, birds poked their beaks in the grass looking for breakfast, I steadily went mad, you know, the usual stuff. I'm just not very good at doing nothing, I feel guilty when I just sit around, any longer than twenty minutes and I'm climbing the walls which brings me swimmingly around to today's blog entry.

Ten New Words To Use In Everyday Conversations

Fartanarian - To be an annoying old person. "Oi! You've just flattened my dog with your mobility scooter you Fartanarian!

Grumply - A miserable person who is also challenged in the face department. "I went out with him once, he was way grumply."

Frumpletit - Clumsy individuals who make a hash of tasks. "He's a right frumpletit, fell down stairs once but couldn't scream as every time he opened his mouth a step shut it."

Bingobag - Used when a persons head is way smaller than their larger body. Looks like a bingo ball being ejected from a badly stuffed bag.

Titosteroner - A person, normally male with man boobs that nearly touch their belly button or can be pushed together for motor boating. Can also be applied to body builders with nips like bullets.

Trombonzo - A person with an irritating voice that slides up and down the wince scale as you listen. "He's got a voice like a donkey on helium, the trombonzo gets on my tits"

Frunknlucker - From the back it looks good, from the front it looks like it was made in a lab. From animal parts.

Crumblecrinklet - A person over forty who dresses and acts younger during a mid life crisis. Also describes an embarassing move popular with dancing dads.

Shifferwhiffer - Persons prone to turning toilet cubicles into health hazards or spending copiously large amounts of time at work dedicated to using the toilet. "He once held the Shifferwhiffer record after forty minutes with only the back of a crisp packet for reading material"

Fartwhacket - Two people engaged in wennis, the wind version of tennis. One person serves and it must be 'batted' back by a trumpet within a three second time period. This is repeated back and forth until one fails in the task or more seriously hits stage two the Clutterbucket. In which case you need new trousers.

I hope you will find all these useful and use them in everyday conversations. Another quality information service from the makers of Chimp Scissors, the only way to shape your primates.


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