Didn't think so.
The first is 'Three Piece Suite', gettit? don't worry they get easier.
The second is (drum roll) 'No Peace For The Wicked', I always thought it was no rest for the wicked but then again I'm normal and not a professional mind bender which is why the last one *really* makes sense.
It's football, it's to do with scores, it's 'All For One And One For All', that's about as tenuous and tedious as it gets for flips sake.
Anyway, personally it's about time they upped their game as pretty much the rest of it is assorted articles mixed with advertising, not bad but it could do with a little va va voom. So in the interests of injecting a little excitement into these local magazines why not throw in a few celebrities, as we know, celeb sells, then we may get something like this.
See, looks better already, inside you will find loads of fun articles and words from our sponsors. You too can advertise and receive endorsements from as little as £10 per month for a 1cm x 1cm advert. (Maximum two words, no website address, black and white only, elephants need not apply)
Tiptop is the Top of the Tips, just five minutes from the M1 along a lonely road through a forgotten town that has seen better days.
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LOCUL GOSSIP is printed on sustainable toilet paper, all views expressed are my own and in no way do I endorse that sheep should live upstairs.