Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Are You A Winner?

After last weeks raffle I am pleased to announce the following tickets have won! Prize details included, all prizes must be collected by 1972, no money equivalent available.

Blue 172

An all expenses paid trip to the Bermuda Triangle where you will stay at the luxurious underwater resort of Atlantis and be entertained in the Bermuda Bar by Glenn Miller and his orchestra featuring Buddy Holly. Joining you at your table will be silver screen goddess Marilyn Monroe and funny man Charlie Chaplin. You will end your night with a thrilling ride on the Grand National winner Shergar around the decks of the luxury liner the Titanic.

Pink 15

Three cases of Whiskers cat meat from 1971. Specially selected these tins mark a turning point in cat gastronomy with the introduction of tuna and salmon flavours. Ideal for cat meat collectors worldwide. Sell as a job lot or split and sell individually the choice is yours. N.B. Do not open. The gases inside will be liable to cause a blowout and spray rancid cat meat over a wide area.

Yellow 77

A signed Picasso painting called Sunflowers worth at least £26,000,000! N.B. Please note, the painting is not by Picasso, also the signature is by Picasso but not the Picasso you expected. It's Ben Picasso of 5 Laurel Avenue, Hull. Price estimate is based on the original Sunflowers by Picasso as it's the only like for like we could compare it to and should not be relied upon for accuracy give or take £26 million.

Pink 827625253

Full use of a recycle bin for the day! Our specially cleaned bin can be yours for twenty four hours to do absolutely whatever you like with it at our expense. We at Bins4Fun pride ourselves in providing family friendly bin related events throughout the country and we are the leading Fun Bin in the UK today. Ride them, sit in them, place items in the bottom then empty it out again the fun never stops, it's insane! N.B. Please note, only one bin per family, additional buns may cost extra.

Puce 18

Free photoshoot for you and your vegetables. Capture those cherish moments with your carrots, create memories from marrows and take pride in your peas as we arrange you both in striking poses against a stark white background to provide you with a stunning collection of snaps. N.B. First photo is free, each additional photo is £29.95 each. Please bring your own vegetables, no potatoes allowed, not after last time anyway.

Blue 2

Unfortunately we do occasionally get some rubbish prizes, this one in particular is rank. It's a visit to the studio of Peter Smith where you get to sit and be bored senseless whilst he writes his stupid blog and farts around with some kiddy paints before talking about himself for hours on end. Good god, doesn't he ever give up, it's like flogging a dead horse isn't it? Blah, blah, blah, I'm an artist you know, la, la, la. Anyway, if you have this ticket I suggest throwing it away unless you really want to spend the day doing the equivalent of being water boarded and having your ears torn off.

Sorry if you didn't win, this weeks raffle draw is below so feel free to take a ticket, a full list of prizes will be available online next week.

Blue

1,2, ,4,5,6,7,8,9, ,11

Pink

,,2,,,5,6,7,8,1525,11182

Black

7,25

All raffle prizes kindly donated to Craffle, the Crap Raffle Company, 1973

 

No comments: