Welcome to the official page of the World Cup Psychic Gherkins who first came to the attention of the world in 2013 when they correctly predicted World War Two, a prediction so accurate that the Psychic Gherkins even gave a start date of 1939 confirmed by top historians of being so accurate it's uncanny.
'Its uncanny!' said one top historian, 'It's uncanny!' said another top historian.
So let's see what the Psychic Gherkins have in store for the World Cup, will they predict a winner? Will they predict a win for England tonight after England had a massive boost in confidence when the realised they wouldn't be the first to be knocked out? Let's find out...
England vs Anyone
'We predict that England will win, that win may or may not be to do with the World Cup or even a sporting event but we confidently predict a win at some point, somewhere in something during an undisclosed year. '
So that's a win for England, yay! You heard it here first folks straight from the Psychic Gherkins own mouth and you can't get better than that.
What will tonight's score be?
'We confidently predict that tonight's score will be made of numbers, possibly including zeros but that could change. The final score will consist of two numbers, that we can be quite accurate on.'
Looks like we are in for a treat folks, we are going to get a score made up of two numbers making it perfectly clear what the score is, wow, those Gherkins are accurate!
How do you think tonight's match will go?
'We predict a massive rectangle of grass in some kind of stadium, men will approach the grass area and produce a ball which they will kick around for many minutes before walking off and receiving a massive sum of money equal to the national deficit whilst commentators and old footballers refer back to '66.'
Wow, that sounds exactly like what we are expecting, that so accurate it's uncanny!
Any more predictions Psychic Gherkins?
'Yes, traffic will be at a minimum at 8:00pm and electric and alcohol consumption will be at an all time high, the next three hours will be filled with groans, shouts at the ref, occasional cheers that are cut short and plenty of disappointment. Bitter, bitter disappointment.'
Hmm, what are you trying to say Psychic Gherkins?
'Just saying, I can't remember the last time I have enjoyed myself so much.'
Why is that Psychic Gherkin?
'I'm not watching it.'
Today's blog has been bought to you by www.ohnonotthebloodyworldcup.com by your other half who is sat in another room watching Mamma Mia!