Home Eating Magazine 2014

Sick and tired of all those leftovers? 

Full and bloated with festive food? 

Today we solve all your  problems with ideas to save you £££'s and help keep that waistline trim for 2015!

 Save money on expensive all in one 'ready meals' for children by making your own Willy Wonka inspired teatime treat. We call it the Cocktail Trifle, you can call it whatever you want because it relies on what you have left. Simply scrape up all the trifle bits and place them at the bottom of a fresh bowl, add in any assorted party snacks like cocktail sausages and chicken drumsticks until the trifle is peeking over the rim and the grease has congealed enough on top before adding squirty cream.

 Larger sausages and leftover pigs in blankets when inflated make ideal safety ski's combining the stability of a snowboard with meaty comfort footwear. NB sausages liable to 'pop' once inflated and may cover a large area in lips, eyes and arseholes.

Kids bored with their gifts already? Then fear not, teach them the ancient art of brussel marbles with your leftover sprouts. Full details of this unique game and more can be found at www.sproutygames.co.uk where you will also discover Sprout Throwing, Brussel Rolling and hundreds of other 'sprouty' games!

 Stale sausage rolls make ideal emergency car jacks, just avoid flaky pastry as these crumble on cars above a Ford Capri but there is an alternative if you have a handy foot pump...

 Keep a pump and several scotch eggs in your car and you can 'jack' up anything, anywhere! Simply pop the scotch egg under your vehicle, attach the nozzle and pump away, your vehicle will be ready and steady in no time at all! NB Do NOT over inflate, exploding scotch eggs have been known to cause serious injury and prevalent smells that will stick to your clothes.

 Feel like a real celeb and follow the trend setting Lady Gagamadonna who uses her left over Christmas pudding to great effect with this stylish bonnet! Or you could go one further and using several pipecleaners and leftover mince pies turn yourself into songbuster pianist Elton Scone

Wear your pies with pride and bellow out festive songs, you may even get stopped in the street and asked for an autograph!

We hope these ideas have been useful in clearing out those pesky leftovers, if you have an idea you would like to include simply write it down on a piece of bread and pop it in the toaster, it will get to us in no time at all!

Ivor Lotsagrub
Home Eating Magazine 2014