Tomorrow is the eclipse, made popular by its older cousin 'night' when daylight will become night light in the day. I hope you are keeping up as this blog is terribly important and may save your eyesight.
Firstly how to identify an eclipse.
Stage one, look at it and compare it to our handy chart.
Or possibly it's night time.
Or you are indoors in a room with no windows and the lightbulb has just gone.
The picture above 'simulates' an eclipse, to simulate and eclipse in your own home in complete safety simply shut your eyes now.
Dusty Bin and Ted Rogers (Ted is on the right next to Dusty dressed in a blue Butlins jacket)
I'll do it with you, open them again when you hear me type 3,2,1 just like Ted Rogers on that game show with dusty bin.
Shutting my eyes...now!
Myam ashd ja awbauia bna asd! Kajkasbdh qwnmqw ainbaw awn w iwqoima apo heavbadsd.
Open your eyes! Remember not to type with eyes closed.
Remember never, ever look directly at the sun, it's full of ridiculous stories to make your blood boil and it has tits on page three.
To avoid damage to your eyes always wear the correct eye gear to view in safety.
Yours for only £99!
(first payment of £99 guarantees your Sun-B-Gone reservation, 1,293 further monthly payments of £99 secure the services of our Mr Greys, should your Mr Grey become worn out or experience a flat during this period simply return him for a free upgrade. Choose from over fifty Mr Greys in our showrooms, from the rampant to dominant, from the buff to eye fluff the choice is yours. Non refundable, all Mr Greys come with minimal clothing)
Enjoy your Eclipse wherever you are and don't forget there's a repeat performance every night so you can experience the thrill of it getting dark time and time again!
Todays blog has been bought to you by the Eclipse Marketing Board, Hull.