Friday, July 31, 2015

Now That's Tragic!

For one day only the secretive Tragic Circle throws open its doors to reveal some of its secrets exclusively just for you. These sorcery secrets have remained covered in secrecy and kept secret for a secret number of years. Indeed they are so secret that its secret that I even know the secrets contained in today's secret blog. So get ready to learn real tragic secrets that confound and fool the professionals.

Lets start with a mystery number secret. I like to call it the Number Secret!

Face your audience and ask them to think of a number between 1 and 50.

Get them to double it.

Tell them to add 22 then ask them to divide the result by two.

Face your audience and proudly announce...
...is this your card?

Retire to your dressing room to rapturous applause and watch your bookings come in.

HOW IT WORKS

The mental power needed by the audience drains them into submission so you can bend their thought patterns to get the result you want.

Next, The Mentalist!

Strut on stage and tell your audience that they are going to see the best piece of tragic they have ever seen.
Tell them to stand on one leg.

Using their left hand get them to pat their head.

With the remaining right hand ask the to rub their tummy in a clockwise direction.

Now, and only now, ask them the important question 'Name an orange vegetable'
Everybody without exception will tragically say 'Apple'. Once again strut off to shouts of amazement.

HOW IT WORKS

Rubbing your tummy and patting your head caused static to build up in your tummy button, this is discharged to the brain causing a retiring of the thought process. The only thing they can then think of is 'Apple'
Next our finest most complex tragic secret ever and one that all Tragic Society members must memorise upon joining.

The Circle Of Tragic Mystery Of The Ancients
Ask you audience to draw the above, a circle with a dot at the centre without taking the pen off the paper.
Laugh uncontrollably as they feebly attempt to do it. Call them names as they struggle, swear at them for being so stupid. After they have failed miserably enough times snatch the pen from them and proudly announce that you have a far superior brain and you are now going to show all the stupid people how to do it.
Here's the complex bit, fold over the corner of the paper carefully.
Take the pen and start with a dot at the corner of the fold and follow the complex guide above to see the direction the pen should take.
Lift up the corner and complete your circle to applause, cheers and armfuls of flowers. Enjoy a successful career as a television magician until you fall out of favour. Don't forget to bolster your image by pretending to do dangerous stunts in complete safety until you manage to make it to Las Vegas where you will get mauled by a lion.
One final secret, remember the question I asked you three years ago to this day? Well, is this your card?
Thought it was, I'm so impressive.

Today's blog has been bought to you by Paul Blaine Ali Bongo Nixon Daniels, senior member of the Tragic Circle.

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