Car parks are strange places and vary from well lit, clean and tidy to dark dungeons of wee and broken lifts, both scenes of our regular car park picnics. Yes, we really do take our own lunch to munch before an appearance. So quite often we can be found in our car eating. This last weekend was no exception, York and Cottingham, two open air car parks, two chances to become entertainment. Let me explain.
York is always busy so we arrived early along with bus loads of tourists carrying oversized cameras and as usual we had a little look round then retired back to the car for something to eat. Feeling full I pulled out my smart phone to see if I could confuse myself even more and Jayne decided to recline her chair and have a little nap. All well and good, ten minutes later I was fully engrossed in making a complete mess of my phones settings when I was aware from the corner of my eye that Jayne was bolt upright and staring at me.
I turned, it wasn't Jayne, she was still snoozing, instead I was looking at an old woman looking through the side window and watched in amazement as she called over her friend to join her. Only they were not looking at either of us, they were looking through the car windows to view something else. Call me picky but would it just be easier and less ruder to walk around the car or look over it or just maybe flick off? Honestly, can you believe it, they lingered like this about two inches from the car door for what seemed like a lifetime totally oblivious to either of us until I honked the horn, which unfortunately made Jayne jump with a start and bang her head on the car door so hard she remembered where the comb she had lost in 2006 was.
Oh hum, onto the next car park in the delightful Cottingham, same situation, Jayne snoozing, nice and reclined in an almost empty car park, me engrossed with the fact that my phone has a variable vibration (don't ask) when on the passenger side pulls up a silver car no further than a few inches away almost taking off the wing mirror as it reversed in. I muttered something to myself that started with 'Oh' and ended in 'sake'. What wally parks so close in an empty car park that neither he or Jayne could open a car door and exit without being the thickness of a wafer thin mint?
I'll tell you what kind of wally, the type that rolls down his window, lights up a cigarette, spots Jayne and reverses a little more so he can visibly peer down her cleavage from the comfort of his own car that's what kind of wally I'm talking about. He did it so obvious too and leant out a little to see just how far down he could see. I looked at him with the same look you would give someone who had urinated down the back of your trousers then realised my mistake as the look back he gave me told me that he could seriously reconfigure my face and tie my legs into a granny knot. I started the engine waking Jayne in the process and trundled away to a less pervy spot.
Anyway, what am I telling you today? Ah, yes, the weekends appearances, York and Cottingham.
The team at Art Market in Cottingham at the end of an incredibly fun and easy weekend made so by two great galleries which we both look forward to returning to sometime in the future.
Next up this weekend the mighty Castle Galleries, Solihull on Saturday and our first visit since 2009 to Castle Galleries at the Trafford Centre in Manchester on Sunday. Can't wait!