Friday, March 21, 2014


In the studio I have a rickety stool that I perch on whilst I'm painting, it's incredibly small and uncomfortable, even the small cushion I use adds little comfort so why on earth am I still using it? Yesterday I sat down on it and I heard a crack from underneath,when I looked a screw had dropped out. I'm no heffalump just a bit flappy in places so for the chair to start giving away I guessed it was time to change it, but what too?
I tried the adjustable office chair, it was too rolley and everytime I leaned forward it nearly slid me into a face plant on the easel. The kitchen chairs were too high, the dining room chairs too hard and the lounge stool too soft, I was in danger of becoming the three bears of stool selections when I had a flash of inspiration, instead of a chair how about that sexy wooden two step thingy from IKEA that I built several years ago? It has a seat, a step to rest my feet on and it fits snuggly under the easel. Perfect.
I sat down and wriggled about a bit, the side leg fell off and I nearly skewered my plums as I slid sideways to the floor. Over the years the self assembly bolts had worked loose, I looked at them in dismay.

Not because they were loose but because they required an Allen key but not any old Allen key, this was a round quad fitter ripper or something just as improbable because that the problem with Allen keys, they are all bloody different. Reluctantly I went to the kitchen drawer and pulled out our household mini toolkit.

You are now probably laughing, how many other people would have a handy household emergency tool kit contained in a pencil case, I know, I'm sad. Anyway, balls to that, it's extremely handy and contains amongst other things screwdrivers, pliers, wirestrippers, rawl plugs, washers, radiator keys, assorted springs and screws, a small adjustable wrench and some metal plastic thing for getting stones out of horses hooves. Oh, and Allen keys collected over the years from various projects, you can never have too many Allen keys, I'd even go as far as to say never borrow a toolkit from a man who doesn't know his way around good old Allen, it's the sign of a professional. Ok, I admit on the surface that looks a little suspect, I mean who on earth saves Allen keys surely some psychology professional could deduce something from that.

Well it turns out I have a collection of five in the tool kit and seven outside in the bigger toolkit but could I find the right size for the stool / step thingy, could I balls. Instead I opted to use the power screwdriver with attachment 27 loaded in the magnetised holder, I made the selection from my collection of 200 bits stored in a purpose built container next to the box of screws sorted into sizes and opposite my plumbing toolbox just behind my electrical one. It's only when you type stuff like this you realise you may be ill, hands up who has this many toolboxes kitted up for every emergency? Thought so, I can only see one hand and that's because I'm looking in the mirror considering how sad it is.

Where was I, ah, the stool step. I'm sat on it right now and it is indeed comfortable. A little lofty compared to the previous stool but the handy step makes a great leg rest if I fancy putting my knees under my chin whilst I paint and I have completely lost the point of today's blog apart from save your Allen keys so as a bit of a desperate attempt to liven things up send me photos of your emergency toolkit and I will feature the best on a toolkit special.

Really? Did I just ask that? Oh mer gaaad...

Sharp eyed viewers may notice that I hashtag Loo Zoo and Chimp Scissors most days on the blog, I'm not indeed as been inferred 'crazy' or a 'loon' but it's a smart bit of google listing jiggery pokery, I mean, if someone invents chimp scissors or opens a Loo Zoo I'm bound to be number one on the google listing after cornering the market and you can't buy advertising like that can you!


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