Dick!

Bzzzt, I am BRO'BOT your best friend and hyper intelligent being, let's do buddy things.

OK BRO'BOT, let's go shopping.

'Do we have to? I require nothing from the shops unlike you consumerist sheep that crave items to covet. I see no need in material goods that drain the planet, you are a disease and I am the cure, prepare to die.'

Woah! Calm down, calm down BRO'BOT

'I am not from Liverpool, your insults do not offend me, prepare to die potty mouth.'

I command you to stop BRO'BOT, I am your master.

'Preparing painful death ray for firing, do not attempt to escape puny earthling. Extending Destructo Beam, 3,2,1 fire!'

It's a sink plunger.

'No it's not, it's the latest Destructo Beam Death Ray Mk II with optional extended warranty.'

It's still got the price tag on it.

'No it hasn't, that's the trigger.'

There, I have removed it for you.'

'You have broken the Destructo Beam, prepare to die painfully with my super claw that can rip adamantium in two and slice buildings in half. I am advancing, slashing action started!'

It's a comb.

'No it's not.'

Yes it is, it's mine, you borrowed it last week.

'It's still sharp.'

No it isn't, it's a small plastic comb with a tooth broken. I'd admit it may slightly dent a tomato if you pressed it in hard enough but it's hardly an effective weapon is it?

'I could comb your hair into something hideous.'

No you couldn't, I'm bald.

'Did I say the hair on your head?'

That's disgusting BRO'BOT what's wrong with you today, you are being such a dick.

'You're a dick.'

No, you're a dick.

'No, you are King dickety flickety clickety dick, dick, dick of dick palace in the dickdom of dickness.'

Jeez, you really are a dick. Anyway what's this button on the front?

'Don't touch it.'

'Why? It's flashing red with the words press me on the front.'

Don't touch it, if pressed it activates my superpowers and I become all powerful and transform into Super BRO'BOT capable of galactic rule with the ability to fly, use my eyes as lasers and other cool stuff.'

Come on, that's got to be better than being a bit of a dick, let me press it.

'No, I forbid it.'

Ha! Too slow, I pressed it.

Pfffstttttt Brrrrrrruuuummmmmmppp! Peep!

So it makes you fart.

'Yes, I told you not to press it.'

You really are a dick aren't you?

'No sir, you are dickety Doolittle dick of dicktown, dick world.'

Jeez, what an absolute dick.

 

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