I have found a wonderful new website to play with; Bad Translations. Basically it takes perfect English then converts it back and forth through several languages and shows you the results. For example 'Hello, would you like a pound of sausages?' When entered would be dealt with like this :
From English: Hello, would you like a pound of sausages?
To French: Bonjour, aimeriez-vous une livre de saucissons ?
Back to English: Hello, would you like a sausage book?
To German: Möchten hallo, Sie ein Wurstbuch?
Back to English: Would want hello, you a sausage book
How great is that! 'Would want hello, you a sausage book?' Where did book come from? Anyway at no great expense I have been experimenting for you to see just what this thing is capable of. It's awesome!
Let's start with something simple...
'She sells sea shells on the sea shore'
After five translations it becomes the fabulous 'It sells some shawls to the lake in the beach' can you imagine the confusion? What if you needed the toilet badly?
'Could you tell me where the nearest toilet is please I'm about to deliver a horse to the sound of trumpets.'
After five translations becomes 'She, the tin, he says that that is more I am prudent where the cabinet satisfies I deliver a horse to the sound of trumpet.'
I can't believe that after all that 'deliver a horse to the sound of trumpets' remains intact.
OK, let's try some music lyrics, take it away Miley...I came in like a wrecking ball
I never hit so hard in love
All I wanted was to break your walls
All you ever did was wreck me
Yeah, you, you wreck me.
Triple translated even old Miley would have trouble getting he mouth around this...
'I registered scrimmage to desire that went he when a ball of knocks down that I already so fortress in some magnet for breaks its walls, that never they did all she, the accident went PHWOOR, she, she knocks down me. '
A few questions, what is a registered scrimmage and what's with the PHWOOR? Although I do like the ball of knocks replacement for wrecking ball.
How about trying something really simple and childish - Farting.
Yay! It becomes Explosion. Let's try something else equally childish, 'I did a wee fart.'
Awesomely it becomes 'I did a small animal servant', this thing is good, I wonder if it can cope with jokes?
They call me Spider-Man.
I don't have super powers I just have difficulty getting out of the bath.
Becomes after six translations...
'They call me the man of spider. I have of the not large one one you are able to that I have only the difficulty, that comes from the bath.' Kinda loses a bit in translation, no, let's be frank, it loses a lot.
'When I am old I want loads of cats and a bucket of custard. I might like a sausage sandwich to eat as well.'
Translated 'If I am old, desire some shipments of the cat and a bucket of cream. It would be able to worship to eat a sandwich of sausage, also.'
I love the way it reverses stuff, a sandwich of sausage, shipments of the cat, it's like living in the 1700's; 'Forsooth has not thy shipments of the cat arrived? I could killeth thy sandwich of the sausage.' So in the finest tradition I will write the last section of the blog and get it to translate it back and forth five times, apologies for the following results, see if you can work out what I really said...
'OMG, the demands of Brussels has in did in way amused and the so strong blasts that his blast of ground is collapsed. The worst one than was be some full bus to the moment. A lady should be was caused to the hospital, said that that his face would not stop already recording the shake. It received some bus to the near standstill one and look, in a window many dogs, barked stopped one of them and appeared so preferred even though similar, when the word of kiss barked.'