Several full moons this year are falling on the cusp of Scorpios elbow and enters Libras twelfth house which will call forth a large pink hovering pig that will float aimlessly above Milton Keynes before spontaneously combusting and showering five counties with free bacon. A half moon in July in conjunction with a Plutos Uranus square to Mars gives a distinct possibility of rain at some point in the month and I will even go as far to pinpoint it's location as somewhere in Scotland.
In April an ascending New Moon hints at the possibility of a celebration accompanied by eggs, I cannot predict this exactly as I'm out on a limb with this but it will involve chocolate and a partial lunar eclipse shows two large ears and a fluffy tail. Only time will tell if I am correct on this one. July is interesting, I see five 'hoops' after studying Aquarius in a trine to Mars, the planetary picture is positive but I see little in the way of gold coming to the UK.
In August Virgo hits an all time high and it is revealed that Big Ben is actually Thunderbird 6, controlled by puppets in the adjoining Westminster. There will be a popular uprising and the puppets will be packed into Big Ben and launched high into the sky where, like a firework, they will explode. It will also be the month of Early Chrimbodosso where mysteriously large tins of Quality Street will appear in supermarkets throughout the land.
September will be a moonless month and revelations will appear to support claims that Roly, the dog from Eastenders first episode was actually Michael Flatley, a claim supported by the story line when Roly trampled (tapped danced more like) over Arthur Fowlers prized leeks in a bid to show off. It will also be revealed that cheese can now be made without animals using old socks and bits of melted recycled plastic, something they have been doing for years and the real reason for recycling bins.
December, I see nothing special about December at all.
Octomembersaur is a new month that will be introduced in 2013 to cope with the revelation that mathematicians have still not agreed to adding in the leap second. Calculated back through time we are now in the age of the dinosaurs and require a new month of 40,000 years to bring us back in line. New fashions will include stone clubs, square wheels and of course the iCave, a dwelling hewn out of solid rock.
Your Lucky Lottery Numbers Are - 12,25,23,35,38,39
All are guaranteed to come up!!!!*
*At some point, in some lottery and not in this order, use of these numbers forms a contract between me and you. All winnings above £1 must be shared with me.
So all in all 2012 looks to be an exciting year!**
**Predictions may vary from ones given and I predict they may even be completely different, which as a prediction is a pretty accurate prediction so my predictions are of course valid.
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