Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Well, That Was Unexpected

Cue the mysterious dancing girl and weird music it's that time again to enter the unknown with Stories Of The Unexpected, the more unexpected than tales of the unexpected which you never expected that they could get more unexpected.


Thirty long years he had been saving, thirty years of hard times, thirty years of living the life of a pauper, lonely and miserable but he had to have it. The little box in the pawn brokers window didn't look particularly attractive, indeed, it's mahogany exterior decorated with several silver flowers adorning the side looked quite ordinary. The lid was a combination of copper and bronze, carefully etched with the same decorative flowers held in place by two small hinges. The box was locked, a sign next to the box simply said 'key missing, contents unknown' but the cost of owning this small insignificant box was out of proportion.

He knew the box. Putting his hand in his pocket he pulled out a small gold key which glinted in the morning sun, multi faceted it's bow was also shaped just like the flowers decoration allowing a delicate touch when turning it in the lock. How he had imagined this day, finally being able to call it his own, finally turning the key on the box that would change his life forever.

As he approached the pawn brokers door he paused, savouring the moment, remembering the hardships he had endured, friends he had lost, enemies he had gained and now his pursuit was almost over. He turned the handle and pushed open the door.

A gigantic wave hit him full in the face followed by a pirate ship with full rigging as the entire Pacific Ocean poured through the door. He was found dead next to a small dolphin with half an urchin up his nose.


Dashing down the street he saw the bus pull away, the last bus of the night had gone. 'Damn!' said David as he looked at his watch, it had left early leaving him a three mile walk in darkness. The batteries in his phone dwindled and expired as he started to dial making a miserable night more miserable indeed.

Still, the walk would do him good he thought to himself. It had been a difficult night, the argument had gone badly and they had both parted with hasty words and emotional wounds that would take time to heal. Concentrating putting one foot in front of the other he trudged away endlessly replaying the argument in his head. He never noticed the bus stationary in the road ahead until he was almost upon it. It stood quietly it's lights a beacon in the darkness it's engine stilled, its seats empty.
'Wha?' said David, suddenly stirred into life. He slowed down as he approached the back of the bus, it was empty that was obvious but there was something else about it, a peculiar smell that reminded him of something. Something he had smelt before, now what was it, there, that's it, a perfume. He remembered smelling it earlier that evening, that smell, it was her perfume.

He climbed aboard, the smell was getting stronger. Where was it coming from? Where was everybody? It smelt stronger upstairs, with each step it became more powerful, almost overpowering as he reached the top and froze. Seated at the front of the bus was a figure, from the back he could see it had long flowing golden ringlets of hair. Ringlets of hair just like Judith! Judith, who he had left crying into those ringlets less than an hour ago. 'Judith?' he said as he slowly approached the figure. 'Judith is that you?' The smell by now was intoxicating, he reached out and touched the figures shoulder...

The figure immediately spun around just as a elephant in fancy dress crashed through the roof of the bus flattening David.


The field had been ploughed a thousand times that he could do it like clockwork, it was only as he turned around the plough that he noticed his last run had unearthed an object that reflected light back into his cab. It was not unusual, things had been found in the field before, a few coins, pottery, stuff like that so as he climbed down it was more of an inconvenience than a chance to make a discovery.

There in one of the furrows was a bucket, not just any bucket, this bucket looked brand new. 'Strange' he thought, 'Didn't see that when I drove down, looks new too.' He bent over to pick the bucket up. He couldn't no matter how hard he tugged or pulled. The bucket was seemingly fixed to the floor or extraordinarily heavy. 'Well if that ain't the darnedest thing ever!'. Nothing would budge it, nothing except my tractor he thought. He looped the chain over the bucket handle and attached it to the tractor. Back in the cab he started the engine and began to steadily pull away, as the chain became more taught a disturbance came from the bushes when out stepped a moustached duck with a stick of dynamite and blew up the farmer with his tractor.

Thank you for watching Stories Of The Unexpected, remember the unexpected always happens unexpectedly usually when it's unexpected. Don't unexpect to have nightmares!

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