Saturday, August 18, 2012


Call me picky but when I'm shopping for bedside cabinets I'm not really in the market place for blood stained furniture, although the store we visited seemed to do a particular roaring trade in the stuff. It really did stop us in our tracks and I had to snap this admittedly blurred shot just to let it sink in that yes, it was blood.

It's not paint, it's not ink, it had started to take on that brownish tinge that blood goes and you know is going to be a bitch to remove from anything. Even worse it started from the bottom left corner leg, right across the front diagonally and finally across the top. Looking closely, but not that close, it even had the teardrop shape that signified a spray, possibly from a slashing a la Scream style. Needless to say because they didn't have a matching wardrobe with blood splat motif or indeed a blood soaked bedside lamp we passed on this bargain. Still, with a bit of thought and some spare parts from the butchers we could have done something nice.

Which brings me neatly on to this, something I found wedged down the back of the storage in the garage. Rabid by David Cronenberg in the trendy VHS format. I was obviously very naughty and failed to rewind the tape fully. It's part of many I found that came from the last days of the video store as places like the Blockbusters chain and the like accelerated the demise of the local video shop after it reached its peak in the late 80's. It amazing how chunky these still feel and it still makes you want to get out one of the big clunky video players and stick one in to see if it still works.

Imagine that, a blood soaked television stand, a clunky retro video player, a TV without a remote, Rabid playing on the colour portable and plenty of chunks of meat and sinew scattered around for effect. I'm sure our furniture showroom would make millions, you could call it the Rabidvideonasty with occasional table, the serial killer of lounge furniture. Nice. I'd buy two!


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