Swivelsick

Now that the new office has been decorated and the nasty grippers are covered up its time to buy some office furniture. It's all new to me, with choices ranging from corner swept curves to ergonomic drawer systems and cup holders it's actually quite daunting when all you want is a desk. I mean how difficult can it be?

Very apparently. Not many places have a showroom as most work from a catalogue that you order from but call me old fashioned I want to see what I'm getting. I think this all stems from when I was a child, I remember looking longingly at adverts in superhero comics of the day that promised untold fun and excitement with amazing products such as X-Ray glasses that allow you to see through skin, portable ghosts (they actually float!) sea monkeys and magic metal ( it moves on its own!). You quickly realise after spending your hard earned pocket money that disappointment in advertising took hold at a very young age.

The X-Ray glasses were a plastic and cardboard mockup that trapped a feather through the small viewing hole, looking through this when your hand is back lit gives the illusion of an X-ray vision, admittedly I actually bought it to see through clothes so the disappointment was double for me. Portable ghosts, fortunately for me was revealed on the popular television consumer show 'Thats Life' to be nothing more than a white balloon, a piece of cotton and a cheap bit of white tissue paper. Blow up the balloon, tie on the cotton, drape the paper over the top and wait until your victim approaches. A quick tug on the cotton and you 'ghost' starts to float. Priceless, or worthless depending on how easily amused you are.

Personally Sea Monkeys were no better for me, I'd imagine a little monkey world underwater with performing creatures that would entertain for hours, a bit difficult for brine shrimp to live up to expectations but apparently they are still quite popular. Magic metal though was something else, literally, it was iron filings and a magnet. Sprinkle them on a table and watch it move magically as you place the magnet underneath the table. Wow, I had more fun trying to get the coloured ring out of the colour TV screen after holding it up to it in experimentation. Cathode ray tubes apparently did work as magically and this circular hue lasted for several days after.

See, I don't want to be disappointed and end up with two orange crates and a sheet of chipboard after ordering the super deluxe office pal with ergonomic hand cut workstation and innovative assembly system.

The real reason though is to try all those swivel chairs out. Twenty six times around before being sick is my record, can you beat that?

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