Feel tired, rundown and lacking in energy every morning unable to face the day? Well change your life for the better with our unique power program, Winorobics. No special equipment needed and in only ten minutes before breakfast every day it will change your life.
First a it of a warm up, fill your wine glass and take a good slug, that should get your metabolism racing and relax your muscles ready for the next stage.
Arm curls, fill your glass and with each arm curl take a sip of wine until no wine is left. We recommend 350ml glasses as you will get around twenty curls before you have done, a healthy amount to start with.
Next we change to 'The Juggler', two glasses one filled with white the other red. Alternate arm curls and sip from each glass in turn. Mixing grapes in this way increases your heart rate which in turn burns away that fat. Probably.
'Pay and display', fill both glasses with the wine of your choice. Outstretch both arms as shown, then bend both in together and sip from both glasses simultaneously. Repeat until finished, this will increase your chest strength and tone your arms. That's it for the warm up routine now we get down to the serious stuff, for this you will require some extra exercise equipment, a full bottle of wine.
Get down on all fours, keeping your elbows on the floor hold a glass in one hand and an opened bottle of wine in the other. Using a crawling motion fill your glass in one move and sip the wine in the next. If you are doing it right you should crawl about twenty metres before finishing the bottle.
Right, on your back for the 'Glugger Thruster'. Raise your knees as shown above place a opened bottle of wine in one hand and raise to your mouth to take a sip as you thrust your hip into the air in a pumping motion. This will strengthen your pelvic muscles whilst the wine will relax you.
Finally one of the most satisfying and intense routines combining two of our exercises, the 'Juggling Glugger'. Open a bottle of wine and pour yourself two glasses. Grip the opened bottle between your teeth and throw back your head, whilst in this pose lift both your arms simultaneously and tilt the full glasses into either side of your mouth. You should get an instant hit with this one, a triple whammy that will have you reeling from its health giving benefits.
Congratulations, you have completed your first Winorobics exercise, pour yourself a stiff drink and go back to bed. You have had enough exercise and wine to knock you out until tomorrow when you can get up again, forget what you did the day before and start your Winorobics workout!
Winorobics, part of the Winocise program, companion to our popular Drink Yourself Fit Campaign, Official Sponsor of the Olympics*
*By Olympics we actually mean we sponsored Olympics, a racehorse at the 3:30 in Newmarket. Also the word sponsor should really be called a bet. It lost but you can be a winner with Winorobics!
www.petersmithcollective.co.uk Home Of Foreverbunny and the Impossimals
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