I woke up this morning with a weird thought, just what are tiger feet?
Tiger Feet by Mud is one of those weird songs that once you hear hangs around annoyingly in your head but defies explanation as to why it was popular or why those lyrics in particular were written. Lets take he first chorus
Well that's right
I really love your tiger light
What the hell is a tiger light? I have spent forty six years on this round bit of dirt but never before have I seen a tiger light, or for that matter wished to see a tiger light. In fact the song itself is a little weird if you hang around on dance floors looking for the right person that not only shines like a tiger but also has deformed tiger feet your not going to find a keeper are you?
And that's neat
I really love your tiger feet
Perversions aside, Mud went on to pen the equally strange 'Bird Dog', 'Running Bear' and 'Tallahassee Lassie' continuing their animal / person hybrid theme until finally they sang 'Blue Moon' and my eardrums collapsed in a fit of pique.
Where was I, ahh, yes, the blog has gone back to its full randomness with a memory dredged up from its sordid depths.
That probably needs a bit of an explanation.
Way back in the late seventies each new release from the awesome Disney was greeted with delight, as a child of the seventies going to the cinema to see each release was magical. It was way before films made the leap almost immediately to video and indeed even special Christmas television blockbusters normally had to wait three years after its initial release before being screened so going to see the latest movie, especially by Disney was something to be cherished.
It was summer, or that warm damp bit between Christmases we now like to call it, I was in Great Yarmouth and lo and behold Disneys latest blockbuster 'The Rescuers' was being shown at the sea front theatre. Cue money changing hands and taking my seat at the 3:30m performance. The lights dimmed, Pearl and Dean lit up the screen followed by several minutes of excruciating naff adverts for local takeaways and a mini break whilst they changed the reels where upon an usher carrying a tray of expensive nosh and watered down drinks would stand at the front with a face like a beached whale on Prozac who would disdainfully take your money and give you in return some tasteless disappointment.
The film started, it was ok, a few mice, a seagull, a sardine tin and TITS!
OMG! Did I just see that for real?
OMG! It's there again!!
I sat goggle eyed as a pair of mammaries graced the window of an apartment they flew by, not only once but twice!
Needless to say I was not believed, even friends who went to see the film later accused me of being some kind of pervert with a breast fixation so after suffering for years with this horrible feeling that I am in some way a deviant that had an unwholesome filthy mind I googled it.
Once I had satisfied myself that breasts do indeed reside on the Internet I googled the film and lo and behold it's all true...
Finally I have been cleared of the accusations of pervertness, there in the window is the evidence. Apparently it stayed in the prints of the film for close to seventeen years before being removed, I'll tell you something, it certainly cheered up a certain twelve year old on his holidays.
Revelation after revelation, good job I never wrote to Jim'll Fix It about it or I would have been in a whole lot of trouble indeed.
Just realised that I may have spotted a mistake in the new One Direction film, apparently if you look really closely in the background around twenty two minutes in you see something really weird, somebody acts. I know I didn't believe it either I was concentrating too much on all the tits.