Monday, August 11, 2014

Library Of Bored

In an age of limited attention spans I give you Five Second One Sentence Novels...

ROMANTIC, FIVE SECOND LOVES!

SCENT OF THE SEA

They met over the fish counter in Morrisons as she whispered seductively 'Fillet' to which he replied 'With pleasure' and they were married six weeks later before a fatal accident with a bacon slicer cut his young life short and devastated hers until she discovered a true love in the form of Doctor Smarmy a consultant in the Bacon Slicing Rehabilitation unit.

LOVERS IN THE COLD

Recovering from a bout of flu, Gemma spied the man of her dreams over her handkerchief whilst at the Chemist, a night of passion followed but Gordon contracted a fatal dose of flu and died a few days later whilst Gemma unable to ignore her guilt drinks herself into the arms of a friend who becomes her husband after a quirky twist of fate reveals him to be the man who she thought she had killed but he had been embarrassed about his night of passion and faked his own flu demise to find himself.

HORROR, FIVE SECOND FRIGHTS!

LURKER

The room was quiet until the whispering started, checking under the bed it continued, it was only when he turned around in his empty bed that he felt something next to him and the whispering changed to a scream as rotting fingers tore into his flesh.

THE CURSING

No matter how many times the light was switched on and off the childlike figure with no face and arms outstretched always stood in the corner when it was dark taunting him for past deeds.

SLAYLORS

He had been alone at the light house on the isolated Eagles Rock for three months before the storm of the century hit forcing him to retreat to the lowest floor when there was a knock on the cellar door below his feet.

SCI-FI, FIVE SECOND THRILLS!

TO HULL AND BACK

The cyborg demonstrated an intelligence not seen before as it replicated the powers of a superhero in the laboratory, unfortunately a glitch in its software went unnoticed and the resultant rampage levelled the city of Hull until the aliens landed and mankind discovered it had the perfect weapon already.

CRIME, FIVE SECOND CAPERS!

CRACKED

The safe unlocked just as planned and all three men stood transfixed, it was the first time this experienced game of safe crackers had seen anything like it, pure gold and palladium jewellery transfixed with the stone of Gemini, a diamond the size of a tennis ball, they all wanted it but only one would leave with it they all thought simultaneously as they drew their guns.

MYSTERY THRILLER, FIVE SECOND EDGE OF YOUR SEAT STUFF!

SHAMNESIA

She had no recollection of the dead body in the bathroom and the knife in her hand but the banging and shouting at the door drew her attention, she wanted to stay but knew she should run, with the only exit the window she dropped the six feet to the floor and climbed in the car, a glance in the mirror and she could see them starting to give chase, how was she going to prove her innocence or indeed was she innocent at all?

CHILDRENS, FIVE SECOND SWEETNESS!

THE PUZZLE-ME PRESENT

Peter opened the unexpected gift from his reclusive uncle only to find it was an empty box with the words 'ME-PUZZLE' attached to the gift tag, disappointed he placed his toy rabbit in the box only to be surprised when the box 'knocked' back, opening the lid very carefully he peered in and to his amazement saw his toy rabbit through a door at the bottom of the box so like every sensible child he climbed in to enjoy the fun.

EXPERIMENTAL NOVEL, FIVE SECOND CUTTING EDGE!

THE STRANGE SIGN

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