Monday, November 24, 2014

Stamp Club

The first rule of stamp club is if you lick it you stick it, stamps are cool and if anybody tells you otherwise show them your collection of stamps depicting fruit flies from the Maldives and they will soon eat their words. Stamps open up the world like nothing else, forget that new fangled interweb, stamps allow you to communicate DIRECTLY with people from around the world. It's the future and with postage prices set to rise to £24.64 for a first class letter and deliveries restricted to odd numbered days there has never been a better time to hoard stamps. Let me show YOU how INTERESTING they can be.

I thought this would draw gasps, amazing isn't it? Not only do we have a full set of men holding fish but we also have the Super Shunter collection featuring favourite chuff-chuffs from history. What other hobby allows you to combine fishing and train spotting in one enjoyable collection? Nothing, NOTHING compares to stamp collecting, it's almost too exciting for words and easily beats my other pastime of organising my nasal hair and toe clipping collection.

Certainly collections, can, how can I say? Be a bit frisky and borderline PORNOGRAPHIC in nature. You have been warned! This small collection pictured above is often passed under the table in BROWN PAPER BAGS at special Postal Porn meetings organised by local enthusiasts.

Some collections though are absolutely disgusting and any member found to have the above stamps showing RAMPANT MELONS and SUGGESTIVE CUCUMBERS will be immediately banned for six months. Any member caught LICKING this collection will immediately be banned for life.

Ahem, anyway in today's celebrity led culture what could be more apt than a series of celebrity stamps.

Nikki Minaj makes an ideal Stamplebrity with these two stunning photographs taken from her recent tour, the older generation might however prefer a collection of classic entertainers.

Tommy Cooper is always a favourite, as you can see there is something for EVERYONE!

Some countries specialise in badly drawn animals and have special diamond envelopes to match their peculiar diamond stamps. In fact even hats, windows, doors and every imaginable thing in Mongolia is triangular, even houses!

Stamps can be valuable too, did you know a 1st class stamp purchased in 2011 would have only cost you 46p, these stamps are now changing hands in 2014 at 62p!!! That's a whopping 35% increase in your investment and you don't get that at your bank!

You do however have to be aware of the pitfalls of stamp collecting. Recently I found I had a Penny Black in my collection, black stamps are mistakes, stamps should be colourful and gay. I found this stamp particularly awful and trimmed off its perforations to make it look more attractive but it didn't work. So if you have a Penny Black in your collection just like me throw it away, it's worthless, invest in the new Nikki Minaj ones, I guarantee you will be on to a winner!

Today's blog has been bought to you by Stanley 'Stamp' Gibbons Post Office Share Price Booster Ltd, helping you to help us run a better service by having a silly slot at the post office that resembles out dated sorting machine slots and not your letterbox so we can fart around with letter and parcel prices so you don't know if you are coming or going.


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