Check your kitchen cupboard, check your fridge, check your groceries, they are everywhere! Disguised as innocent looking cabbages a new life form threatens your existence. Meet King Cabbagedula The Merciless, intelligent brain like leader of the Vegatobulis, a race of grocery looking aliens hell bent on our destruction.
Earthlings, I am King Cabbagedula The Merciless, not to be confused with Cucumbadula The Hard One or indeed Bananadula The Useful One. I am here to inform you that we, the Vegatobulis have taken over your puny earth right under your noses. We have been here for many centuries but our numbers were decimated for years until the early 1970's when demand for our flesh started to decline. Our population tripled as you humans decided to become more convenient and enjoy burgers and pizza instead. Our revenge will be sweet, already we have inflicted a swelling of the stomach disease that your scientists have failed to explain. Your next generations are already showing signs of being defeated although some of your are fighting back with small pockets of resistance which will soon be crushed as we carry on increasing our prices until you cannot afford us any more.
Recently I have enlisted help from Fruitimuti, founders of the Fierce Fruit movement that helped make fruit expensive in an attempt to counteract the Change For Life campaign by your disordered leaders. We cannot be beaten, we will not be stopped, pretty soon you will be on your knees begging for our help to reverse your afflictions. We will win!
Is that a talking cabbage?
I think it is you know. Hey you lot, come out here, there's a talking cabbage!
Mmmmph, mmph, chomp, munch, munch. Not saying much is he? You must have been hearing things Jura.
THE END
OR IS IT?
www.petersmithcollective.co.uk Home Of Foreverbunny and the Impossimals
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