Hi, I'm Jeremy Clarkingson and welcome to Top Pedal. On this weeks show we review one car using jazzy camera shots, have a drag race between supercharged ice cream vans and attempt to drive from Monte Carlo to Sheffield in a car made out of old shoes.
Before we start we had a shock in the studio when this wonderful beast rolled through the doors. Zaz's latest creation the sexy 968-A, not to be confused with the 967-A although looking at the streamlined body it's hard not to fall in love with it. You get a lot of car for your money but optional extras include seats, hub caps, working indicators and Casio cassette player. 0-60 in one second lived up to its claim as we drove it off a cliff, after hitting the floor in a ball of flame it's unique sturdy roll age design enabled Pilchard Hammond to walk way from it unscathed. The car, unsurprisingly for a Zaz started first time with the crank handle.
Boy racers have a new kid on the block from which to shout abuse from the windows. Volkswagen have upped their game and bought out the Golf. In a typically Volkswagen fashion it's been named after old men's retirement dreams with Golf being added to the already popular car with mint sucking men, the Polo.
Features include a wheel at each corner and four doors so your mates can each have their own wind down window to shout from. Early shortages have hit deliveries and currently it's only available to anyone called Darren.
Hot car of the week is The Ford Capri, boy is this going to get you the chicks, it's bullet nose and fabric roof is the dogs and with its two week rust free guarantee its a snip at £1000 plus a deposit of £4289 and thirty six payments of £287 at 0% finance with an APR of 36.78366%. Get one, get girls, it really is that simple.
Some people call him names, but sticks and stones may break his bones, calling names doesn't hurt him. We call him the Dig.
As Dig makes he way around the track on Raleighs newest stabiliser model he likes to listen to the sound of kittens, an unusual choice some would say. Here he comes up to Gambon...and he's through, it looks slow so it's going to be a fast time. Wow, looks like the Dig has smashed all records, his high speed peddling almost ripped his trousers as he approached 100mph. The Dig finished on his £99 Raleigh with a time of 1.29, five seconds faster than the £2m Veyron.
In other news the 2013 Car Of The Year has been announced, as the whole of Europe merges into one there has been an increase in demand for communist styled cars and the Chrysler Simca is no exception. A shoe box on wheels, built like a tank this family cruiser will grace many a driveways this year. Comes complete with ammo box and emergency ration kit (a potato). Only 78 roubles and shipped direct from it's distribution warehouse in Siberia.
And on that bombshell, goodbye!
www.petersmithcollective.co.uk Home Of Foreverbunny and the Impossimals
No comments:
Post a Comment