We are only years away from taking our holiday in Tenerife to taking them on the MOON! Experts predict that in the year 2014 we will all be issued pocket rockets that will replace the humble motor car. Top Gear will change its name to Top Thrust and a new driving test will replace the existing one. It will cost £1,000,000 and will be mandatory. It will include parking between two stars light years apart and how to brake safely at 50,000 miles an hour.
To help you on your way and to plan next years break here's a map of the moon, we still don't know what's on the other side but we have a sneaking suspicion it's something to do with cats.
Enjoy such pleasures as the Sea Of Moisture, a shallow bay full of dust, ideal to absorb deadly unshielded ultra violet rays from the sun and get an instant tan. So you feel home from home we have opened a restaurant that serves English food so you never need to start the day without a good old fry up. Moon Chips Bar and Grill can be found in nearby Palmieri, just next to the strip club.
Mood destinations are our speciality. the Sea of Crises is just that, one crisis after another guaranteed, if that's not your bag then choose between Lick or to be Lick-d. We are not quite sure why we named it that but it's kinda cool to say I'm going on holiday to Lick, we even have T-Shirts with the slogan 'I have been mooned and Lick-d'. Suffer from insomnia? Then try our relaxing Palus Somni, the marsh of sleep. Only a short moon buggy trip from nearby Da Vinci, please check timetables before departing earth, ticket required from booking office in Yerkes, no dogs.
To make you really feel at home we have created earth on the moon, travel 238,857 miles to visit Birmingham, the alps or even Teneriffe! Imagine your families surprise as they are issued with piddle packs and step off the rocket to be greeted with endless grey sand, no oxygen and of course our wonderful clear skies. You will have a crater of a time, feel like a superhero with our exclusive weightlessness, take one small step for mankind at our plant a flag events and laugh uncontrollably as fellow travellers fail to secure their spacesuit correctly and implode into a gooey mess.
Future thrills include putting golf balls into orbit, emptying the sanitary facilities safely without blowback, filling oxygen tanks with laughing gas and of course our highly anticipated zero G swimming pool, experience swimming without water or indeed a pool!
Give a whole new meaning to a Honeymoon, It's the future, get over it!
N.B. due to the nature of the moon we can only land when it's a full moon, we tried landing on the dark bit but its kinda scary and possibly something to do with moon cats. Buy two adult tickets and hamsters travel free!
www.petersmithcollective.co.uk Home Of Foreverbunny and the Impossimals
No comments:
Post a Comment