Free gift Fryday and your chance to wake up every morning to breakfast in bed with this superb Hide The Sausage Breakfast Mobile. You will require, two metal coat hangers, some string and a pair of scissors. Please get an adult to cut out the pieces from the screen if you are under the age of six. N.B. not suitable for porridge eaters, fruit fanciers or children under two months.
Here's your prize starter complete with handy hole ready to string. This elegant pork and tomato banger is a nice chunky average size, just what you want first thing in the morning. None of your cheap stuff here only genuine 100% British pork imported from Europe goes into these handmade with a machine artisan mass produced bangers. Cut it out and move on.
To a nice fried egg, just look at that juicy yolk waiting to be poked. Imagine laying in bed watching your egg moon slowly rotate above you in graceful motion as it circles the black pudding. Well dream no longer, cut it out and move on.
Crispy bacon done to a T. No breakfast is complete without bacon, indeed no meal is complete without bacon. Hell, I even have bacon and custard for dessert. Top tip, cut this out and rub across a spare rasher, not only will you have your bacon but first thing in a morning you will also smell it, ahh, the aroma, it's magical. Cut out and move on.
A bit of toast or fried bread? Don't mind if I do. A sumptuous piece of bread used as a sponge to soak up your daily intake of saturated fat. Spread this one with butter once you have cut it out to add a splash of colour.
Love it or hate it black pudding is here to stay. Enjoy this meal of congealed blood, it makes a perfect accompaniment to your breakfast and tastes even better if you treat it like a biscuit and dunk it in your tea first. Rub with boot polish for an increased black pudding effect. Cut out and move on.
Now we have most of the ingredients ready there's not mushroom left. See what I did there? Did you? I used mushroom instead of much room, how clever is that. So to be a fungi, 'fun guy', get it? Cut this out as many times as you need mushrooms and move on.
Nearly there, don't make a hash of it quite yet. I did it again, I used hash under this hash brown, puns don't get any better than this. Anyway, cut this one out carefully as its made of potato and hashes and move on.
Fried tomato, the breakfast staple, add a little bit of good olive oil and a pinch of salt to taste, place this with the others, it doesn't need cooking for too long and it's safe to eat raw.
Finally baked beans, simply cut out two hundred of these to decorate the ceiling around your mobile. Stick them on like little stars to create your own Beaniverse, occasionally group clusters together for solar systems and leave a blank circle somewhere to simulate a beanhole, the breakfast equivelent of a black hole.
Now you have all your parts take the two coat hangers and twist them together. Place hanger one over hanger two and pull flap three from part C, finally get down on both knees and tug at U. Tie items on with shoelaces or string.
You should now have a mobile that looks like this. Simply hang it above your bed in the Beaniverse and wake up every day to a stellar breakfast experience. Rotate clockwise to witness the hide the sausage effect as it gracefully wafts by the bacon and skims your fried egg. Watch in delight as it seemingly nosedives at the black pudding only to pull up at the last minute narrowly avoiding the hash brown. Breakfast ballet for your soul absolutely free.
Don't forget to send me pictures of your Beaniverse and mobile, get those scissors scissoring sizzling succulent sausages!
www.petersmithcollective.co.uk Home Of Foreverbunny and the Impossimals
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