Saturday, August 04, 2012
Four and Three Quarter Inches Long
Next came a bit of luxury when lo and behold the first quilted paper was introduced, it was generous too, slightly larger rolls with bigger squares all thoughtfully joined together so small puppies could grab it and drag it around the house for you. On a different note they never did pan away on those commercials did they to show you the man with his trousers around his ankles desperately trying to catch the little mutt.
This was of course the toilet paper we know today but ever since the introduction of quilted rolls two things have happened. First it's started to become by weight, more expensive than petrol and secondly in each and every way it's shrinking.
I didn't realise that every roll of toilet paper has gone through many vigorous tests, things like water absorption, softness and even finger-breakthrough resistance. Yes, that last one made me gip too. I'd like to add another category, cheapness. Our usual roll has metamorphasized from a nice chunky 240 sheets to a miserly 175, not only that the sheet size has gradually shrunk too and over the years we have lost a few square centimetres. It doesn't sound a lot but add it all together and on any given roll it amounts to nearly a 7.8m loss of loo comfort. That's a lot of surface area and in the same period the price has tripled.
Finally today they have reached rock bottom so to speak, it's moved from 3ply to 2ply and with it replaced the softness with a roughness akin to using wire wool and dettol.
I just hope that the finger breakage tests held out!